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Written by: Ian 
Ayaw ko ang nakikita ko nang mga oras a iyon. so I decided to go out of the room,,, Hinila niya ako papunta sa kanya at niyakap ng mahigpit.. and he keeps on whispering "Im sorry,,, Im sorry" at the back of my ear.. and I know umiiyak din siya kasi ramdam ko ang luha niya sa aking batok...

Pero hindi tama... Nagpumiglas ako... Kumawala at lumabas ng kwarto..

"Friend,,,emergency lang... ikaw na muna pumalit sa shift ko... need to go home asap thanks!" txt ko sa ka work ko na off that day,,, "Okay,, on my way na" agad naman reply... Hindi na lumabas si Marco ng room niya,,, Umuwi ako ng hindi nagpapaalam.. mabigat ang kalooban,,, Haaay nakakalungkot talaga,,,
Deretso sa dorm,,, nagkulong,,, nag mukmok at nag iiyak,,,

...... Hindi ko alam kung ano ang iisipin.Ayaw ko man mag duda pero sa tono ng message na nabasa ko alam kong alam niyo rin na hindi ako nagkakamali sa mga hinala ko...... .txt siya ng text and I know he attempted to call kaso nka blocked ang incoming calls ko. Wala akong sinagot ni isa sa kanyang mga mensahe... I tried going out with some of my colleagues para makapgisip isip... pero wala... Nasasaktan ako... Hirap isipin na ang taong pinagkatiwalaan mo ay sisirain ka lang ng ganun ganon...

For the past few days hindi ako pumasok ng duty.. until I decided to let go of my patient. Nagmessage ako kay manang at sa mga co nurses ko na mag quit nako sa work... for some personal reasons na pinaabot ko narin kay Marco.. Wala naman din silang magagawa so pumayag na din..

Knock!!! Knock!!! Knockk!!!! Nagising ako sa lakas ng katok sa dorm ko.... Actually I was expecting some friends to drop by.. Kaya nagbihis ako ang opened the door... Oh well... Si Marco... "O anong ginagawa mo dito?" pasungit kong tanong... "Pwede ba tayong magusap?
Pwede pumasok?" ang sagot niya.. Umiling ako... "Wala na tyong dapat pagusapan pa...Okay na ako ng ganito... kung i oopen mo lang yung about dun.. Hindi rin tayo magkaka ayos" ang sabi ko... ng biglang may lalaking dumungaw sa likod niya...

"ANDREW???!!!" ang sambit ko... alam ko na nag iba ang itsura niya pero sure ako na si Andrew iyon...

Si Andrew,,, for old time sake.. we were dating before back when I was in college. Siya ang tipong allergic sa commitment... For more than 9 mos nag date kami walang kinapuntahan... Nainlove ako sa kanya ang something happened to us. pero hanggang dun lang yun. Alam ko na wala kaming pupuntahan kaya I decided to end our M.U. status..

"Ian, kumusta?" ang sabi ni Andrew..

"Wait, magkakilala kayo?" ang biglang singit ni Marco

"Yes, ex ko" sabi ni Andrew

Umiling ako "Friend ko" ang sabi ko... ngayon ko lang na realize na siya ang Drew na sinasabi nila na ex ni Marco..

Hindi na ako naging emosyonal pa... gusto ko nalang maayos ito at matapos na... Kasi kung hindi ko aayusin itong gulo, kukulit kulitin ako ng mga ito... at alam ko ang ugali nilang dalawa.. hindi ako matatahimik... kaya pinapasok ko din sila sa room ko...

Nag usap-usap kami... Kinonfirm ko ang mga bagay bagay.. And yes.. nagmula sa kanilang mga bibig.. mag ex nga sila,,, Masakit na parang sa biglang dating netong si Andrew ipagpapalit ako agad ni Marco sa kanya...

Nag deny sila about dun sa nabasa ko sa txt messsage... Gumawa sila ng alibi... na kahit bata hindi maniniwala...
Nakipag ayos ako sa kanila... para wala ng pag uusapan.. Pinauna ni Marco si Andrew na lumabas...

"So, okay na tayo Hon?" ang tanong niya.. "Yes" ang matipid kong sagot... "Im sorry, for lying to you about what happened, I Love you Hon..." sabi ni Marco sabay hug sakin... "I Love you too Hon" I hugged him at hinatid siya sa labas ng dorm... Umuwi na rin si Andrew ang sabi niya...

Im used to this situation.. Ive been in the worst relationship before (sa tingin ko)... Naging tanga ako in the name of love... Kung anu-anong kagaguhan ang pinag gagawa ko just to save the relationship.. Pero this time I wont let it happen again... Its too much... Harap-harapan na akong niloloko.. And I know that. I guess its time to move on...

Hindi ko na pinaabot ng kinabukasan.. I asked my Land lady na i terminate na yung contract ko sa dorm. Nag explain ako and she agreed... Umuwi ako that night sa bahay namin sa Magalang... I changed my simcard. Removed Marco's number. deactivated my facebook. And asked my friends not to give out my number to anyone.. Nowhere to find..

For almost 2 weeks akong nag mukmok sa kwarto... Anlaki ng ipinayat ko... Ganyan talaga pag depressed... Pero eventually darating at darating tayo sa stage of acceptance.. Wala kaming formal break up. I even let him believed na okay kami,. And thats it. I guess its over na talaga..

After a month.. I decided to move to Manila... Actually a friend of mine helped to get a job. As company Nurse..
Six month-contract. And finally started to work... Inenjoy ko nalang every moment... Nag trabaho ako ng maayos, nag ipon for my savings, and yes I still go out with some friends and colleagues. Di ko panabayaan ang career ko as well as yung social life ko., Sex life has been a vital part of it.. Pero love relationship for me seems not to exist.

On my fifth month sa work.. a good news came... my application for Canada was approved... Visa application nalang then fly nako... I resigned from work immediately, hindi naman ako nahirapan kasi I have good standing nman and ok naman ang mga boss ko...

I decided to go home that night to share the good news to my family at syempre konting celebration.. Off to Cubao para sumakay ng 5star bus going Pampanga...

Bumili ako ng pasalubong for my kapatid.. tapos nagdala din ako ng ibang kagamitan ko sa apartment para mabawasan na ang iuuwi ko...

Pag sakay ko ng bus na medyo puno na... nakitabi ako sa isang guy...

"Yan?!!!" sabay niyang sabi... Alam ko kung sino yung guy.. pero dahil nag iba itsura niya it took time para makilala ko siya.. and finally... "Marco?!!! kumusta? anung nangyari sayo? shit. bakit ampayat mo?" ang naisagot ko sa knya...Napangiti siya... "Ikaw kasi ehhh" ang sagot niya...

Alam kong wala nkong feelings para sa kanya... pero mali pala ako... bakit may kurot? Bakit parang ang saya saya kong makita siya? Ang weird lang... Shet mahal ko pa ata itong taong ito...

Nagusap kami,,, Una medyo light lang,, kumustahan about sa work,,, about sa nangyari...nalaman ko din na namatay na si Lolo Robert. Nakakalungkot pero atleast hes in a better place na... Going Dau ang bus kaya maikli lang ang oras ng paguusap..

"O cge una na ako..." sabi ko kay Marco nung pauwi nako..(pero sa totoo lang ayaw ko pa siyang iwan at may hinihintay akong sabihin niya). as I walk away.... "Yan tara dinner muna tayo" ang sigaw niya... "Tara Mcdo. !!!" Ang mabilis kong sagot sa kanya... at nagpunta kami sa pinaka malapit na Mcdo and ate our dinner..

"Anung nangyari sayo? Bakit bigla mo akong iniwan? Bigla kang nawala? akala ko ba okay na tayo?" ang bigla niyang tanong... "nasaktan lang ako kaya ganun" ang sagot ko... "Sorry ulit ahhh...sa nagawa ko... " sabi niya... "Ok na yun, wala na sa kin yun" sabi ko...

Napagusapan namin ang tungkol sa amin... Para sa akin tapos na.. kasi naman ako na ang lumayo at nagtago sa kanya... sinabi ko din na hindi ako naniniwala sa alibi niya about sa issue... Inamin niya din na nagsinungaling sila ni Andrew...

Akala niya daw mahal niya pa si Andrew that time kaya gusto niyang pagbigyan ang sakanila... Hindi niya naisip na masasaktan ako kapag nalaman ko.,, Bumabalik si Andrew sa kanya nung time na umalis at nagpakalayo ako.. But thats the time he realized daw na ako pala talaga ang gusto niya..Hinanap niya ako.. Pero nagkasabay sabay lahat ng problema,,, sa work ..kakaisip sa akin at kay lolo kaya ganun bumagsak ang katawan niya. Mangiyak-ngiyak kwento habang nasa Mcdo kami... Na i kwento ko na din ang side ko. nag nagkaayos naman kami..

"Samahan moko sa bahay... wala akong kasama doon... Nalulungkot ako Yan" ang sabi niya habang pasakay kami ng jeep... Sa totoo lang namiss ko tong taong ito.,,, gustong gusto ko na siyang mayakap at mahalikang muli... Bakit pako magpapakipot? Pumayag ako at sumama sa bahay nila...

Malungkot ang ambiance ng bahay... amoy ko pa ang amoy ng nalalantang bulaklak ng patay... Pagkapasok namin... naligo ako.. tpos sumunod siya.,,, at nahiga sa kama...

"Alam mo, akala ko wala nakong feelings para sayo" sabi ko

"Anlaki ng pagsisisi ko kung bakit ko nagawa sayo yun" sagot niya

"Baka nakokonsencia ka lang" sagot ko

"Oo na guguilty tlga ako.. Bkit ba kita sinaktan.. e mahal na mahal kita" ang sabi niya

"Ang corny mo ah" ngiti kong pasagot... para di gaanong malungkot ang mood

"Pwede bang maging tayo ulit?" tanong niya

Hindi ako sumagot... humarap lang ako sa kanya at hinalikan ang kanyang mga labi....

"ILOVE YOU HON" ang pabulong kong sabi

"I LOVE YOU TOO HON" ang mahina niayang sagot at sabay halik sa aking mga labi

Gumanti ako ng halik...

Muli kong naramdaman ang pagmamahal niyang matagal ko nang hindi nararamdaman,,,

At sa wakas...

bumalik na siya. ..

THE END

Written by: Ram 
I spent the whole day in my room, staring at my phone and contemplating whether I should answer him or not. What if this was just a trick to make me talk to him? Or what if it wasn’t? I was torn and I didn’t know what to do. Around noon, there was a knock on my door.

“Yeah?” I called out.

“Naa’y laki nangita nimo dong,” (A guy is looking for you) our helper said.

“Whoever that is, tell him I’m still asleep.”

“Are you sure you’re asleep bai?” It was Mike.

I opened the door and he entered my room. He laughed and I realized that I was still in my bed clothes; just a pair of thin boxers. I smiled and rolled my eyes at him. He sat on the bed and he had a serious look on his face. I put on a white shirt and dragged my computer chair in front of him and sat down.

“How are you?” he asked me. I just shrugged my shoulders.

“He misses you, you know. Won’t stop going on and on about you bai.” I just shook my shoulders. My phone alerted me with a text but I ignored it.

“Is that him?” Mike asked me but I shrugged my shoulders.

“Ram what the fuck is wrong with you?” I didn’t answer. I looked away from him but he made me face him.

“Do you love him?” he said. I fell silent.

“Do. You. Love. Him.”

“So much it fucking hurts bai!” I snapped at him. His eyes grew in shock.

“Then what are you doing?”

“Trying to unlove him.”

“Ram, Jon is stupid. So stupid and reckless. We’ve been best friends since we were children and I’ve seen the stupid things that he has done bai. But he always tries to redeem himself. I know Jon, and he didn’t really mean those things that he said and did that night.”

“Did he send you to tell me all of this?” I angrily asked him.

“No. I came here on my own. He even told me not to try and help him.” I nodded and felt a sense of relief.

“He told me what happened. Truth is Ram, he and Sarah were long over. He just had to do it that night because of his parents. He was pressured and he felt that Sarah knew about the two of you, or at least was starting to suspect. So he had to do it to throw her off your trail.

He didn’t want to risk the love between the two of you Ram. He really loves you. It has always been you.” I just stared at Mike. I knew that all of what he said was true, even before he said it to me. But it was just hard to understand it, it was hard to accept.

“Jon’s going to kill me when he finds out that I told you.” He smiled and was shaking his head. I was just sitting there, silent and paralyzed. Mike started to stand and head to the door.

“Is it true?” I asked behind him. He looked back at me, “True? Of course it’s true. I’m telling you the truth bai.”

“Not that. I mean…” I swallowed hard, “about him leaving.” Mike’s face changed. He was silent and then smiled at me; a pained smile that answered the question.

“Talk to him,” he said and went out. I grabbed my phone and read the message, it was from Jon. He said, “I’ll miss you.” And it was enough to bring the tears. I wanted to reply to him but my hands were shaking. I tried calling him and when he answered, I found no voice to speak, “Ram? Hello? Ram? Are you there?” I hung up. A couple of minutes later, he messaged me, “Ram, can we talk? Please I badly need to talk to you. I’ll be waiting for you tonight in IT, we’ll have dinner at Irie. I don’t care how long it will take you to go there or whether you’re going or not but I will wait for you.” I didn’t reply.

At 8pm, I drove to IT park and parked my car far enough to be concealed from the restaurant but near enough to have a clear view of it. I saw him, sitting by the window table, waiting for me. My phone rang but I ignored it. Then I received a message from him, “I’m here. I’ll be waiting.” Still, I didn’t reply. I was just in my car, staring at him. The waiter kept on going to his table, probably to ask for his order, but he kept on turning him down. Once in a while, he would text me, “Where are you?”, “If you’re not coming, please tell me.” His face looked tired and it hurt to see him like that but I could not bring myself to go out of the car and meet him. Inside, I was still hurting.

This went on for an hour until the manager, I think, went to his table and was talking to him. He was probably asked to leave because up to that point, he only had a glass of water on his table and no order. He went out but sat on the curbside and still waited, “I’m still here.” He texted me. I drove away.

I felt bad leaving him like that. I was stupid and I didn’t know what I was doing. I was still hurting and I am a proud guy. I didn’t want to see him suffer but I wanted to make him feel the hurt that I felt, immature, I know. At around midnight, I received a text from him, “You didn’t show up, I understand. I deserve that. But I will be there tomorrow. Hopefully you’ll show up. I don’t have much time anymore. I love you. So much.” And again, I cried.

Next night, I drove there earlier and dressed up, just in case I had the courage to show my face. When I parked my car at the same spot, he was not yet there so I waited for a while. After a couple of minutes, I saw his car pull up by the restaurant and watched as he went out and entered the restaurant. He was greeted by the manager and I had a feeling that he wasn’t going to be welcomed in the place so I decided to go out and walk towards them.

“Is there a problem?” I asked behind Jon. He turned to me and his face lit up like a kid in a candy shop. He smelled good. God I missed his smell.

“There is no problem sir. Table for two?” I nodded and he escorted both of us to our table. He took our orders and left us alone.

“It’s good to see you bai.” Jon said. My feelings were bubbling inside and I honestly didn’t know what to do. I kept on avoiding his eyes because I can’t stand them; every time I see them, it feels like the first time all over again. I just smiled at him and kept on avoiding his gaze.

“I’m sorry.” He said and I couldn’t help it. A tear escaped from my eye and his smile broke into a frown. “I really am sorry Ram. You can punch me, shout at me, hurt me in whatever way you want. Just please forgive me.” His face was pleading. I felt sincerity in his voice and I couldn’t help it but smile at him.

“I’ve forgiven you long ago bai. But once you break something, no matter how hard you try to fix it, it’s already broken.”

“I understand.” His face softened.

“But I love you. I love you so much Jon. I’m broken, it’s a given fact even long before. But I like the way you break me.” His face changed, his aura changed; he broke into a smile, a genuine smile, and I couldn’t help but smile at him too. I found his hands under the table and held them; he squeezed mine in return.

“I want to kiss you.” He said and I smiled at him. Our order came and we talked over dinner. We had a lot of catching up to do and that’s exactly what we did. We were laughing and smiling like nothing happened. It felt good. He felt good. That moment felt good. It was perfect. We ordered dessert and our talk continued. When the dishes have been cleared and the bill has been paid, we walked around IT park and talked some more.

“About what you texted me bai…” I said.

“I know I said I wanted to talk to you about it but, can we reserve that for some other time? I want this night to go as beautifully as it started. Please?” I nodded at him and he kissed me on the forehead.

“Someone might see us,” I said but he only laughed.

“Then come on, let’s go back to my house,” he took my hand and dragged me to his car. When we arrived there, he led me straight to his room. He took 2 bottles of beer and we drank it on his floor. It was after twelve midnight and we were talking in hushed voices.

“Which reminds me,” he said and stood up. He went to turn up his speakers and played an acoustic song I didn’t recognize it but it was beautiful. He stood in front of me and held out his hand, “I didn’t have the chance to dance with you that night. So, will you give me the honor of having this dance?” he asked me and I took his hand and we danced in the darkness of his room. Having him wrapped in my arms felt so good, I never wanted to let go ever again, I told myself. I was wrapped up in his warmth and I could feel our whole being stitching up together. In that solitary darkness, we were one. Our bodies moved as one, our souls were in sync and the universe stopped for a while to give this paramour a secret only the two of us knew how to whisper. It was like a ritual, our dance, as our lips started to dance on their own and our hands started to rule our bodies. It progressed into a holy ceremony as both of us clawed on each other’s clothes and planted kisses on the surfaces of our skins. Our danced continued as we whispered I love you to each other with every movement of our bodies. We were two entities; making up for lost time as we continued our rhythmic dance in the veil of shadows that hid us from the world. The moon has been a witness to our love, even from the start and that night, she became a part of our promises.

I woke up to his smell ruling my nose. His chest was heaving and his arms were wrapped around me. I looked at his face and he planted a kiss on my forehead.

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

We stayed like that for an hour or two before he sighed deeply and said, “I need to talk to you.” There it was. I should’ve prepared myself for this. I knew all along that nothing lasts forever and I tried to prepare myself for the goodbye that was eventually going to happen between the two of us. But no amount of preparation can ever prepare us for when that moment comes. We both sat up and faced each other.

“I love you,” he said. He took both of my hands and held them.

“I love you too,” our lips met.

“Ram, bai, I love you so much,” his voice broke and I kissed him again, “but I’m leaving bai. We’re leaving.”

“What do you mean?”

“We’re going to live in Australia bai.” And in a single moment, my whole world collapsed on top of me. I felt the room getting smaller and smaller. The air grew tighter and I could feel my body going numb.

“When will you be back?” I asked, suppressing the tears.

“I don’t know.”

“But what about school? What about your life here? What about us? What about me?” I began crying and my chest was heaving. He came closer and hugged me. I held him tighter; I didn’t want to lose him a second time around.

After I have calmed down I asked, “When?”

“Two weeks from now.”

“TWO WEEKS? We only have two weeks left?” This is so unfair. I cursed at everything. I cursed at myself for the time I wasted bitching around. I cursed at the universe for all of this. I cried even harder and I held him close even more. I began telling him that I love him again and again, like a broken record. My crying got to a point where I had a hard time breathing and he kissed me to stop it. We began kissing each other and tried to make our last moment count and last forever.

The last two weeks passed by like a blur but we made sure that we saw each other and spent time with one another every day. Not a day went by without us saying I love you and making memories that would last a lifetime. He stopped going to school to prepare for his departure and I would skip classes to spend time with him but he reprimanded me for that, so we only saw each other before class, during my long breaks (and even the short breaks that I had) and after class. I never stopped hugging him and kissing him and saying I love you to him. The night before his departure, we spent the night on his balcony, under the stars.

---

“I can’t believe that this is goodbye.” I told him as he waited for his flight. We were at the airport restaurant and his family were already in the waiting area. At this point, all the care in the world was gone and he held my hand on the table. I looked at him and made sure that I take in all of the small details about him. I made sure that I had his face, his smile, his hair, his eyes, his smell, his voice, his laugh, his scar, his skin, his whole being, tattooed in my heart, in my mind and in my soul. I didn’t dare blink because I was afraid of missing a single moment with him.

“I love you so much. I don’t think I’ve ever felt like this before,” he said, squeezing my hand.

“I love you so much it hurts.” I replied, “I am lost for words Jon. I don’t know what to say anymore bai.”

“Then don’t say anything. I love you and nothing can change that. I love you. I will always love you. I love everything about you.” He said. I smiled at him and I knew that he saw that it was a sad smile. He brushed a tear that fell from my eye.

“Long distance relationship never works. No matter how much the two parties love each other, it never does. People will say that it does but it doesn’t.” I said and he gently nodded.

“So this is the end of the road for us?” He said and a small cry escaped my voice. He reached over to hug me and I let myself get wrapped up in his arms.

“It would be easier if we don’t talk; if we cut connections from one another.” I said, in between breaths and his chest was heaving and he began to shed tears of his own. He nodded.

“I love you.”

“I love you.” We fell silent for a while.

“In another lifetime maybe?” he said and I nodded at him.

“Timing is such a bitch.” I whispered and he smiled.

“I hope that you know that wherever life takes me, whatever life gives me, whoever life sends me, you will always be special to be Ram. I will always love you. You may think that it’s impossible but it’s not. You will always be with me,” he said as he held my hand.

“You will always be the one for me Jon. Let’s not hope for this to be goodbye. We’ll see each other again. I swear. I commit myself to you.” I told him. We can do nothing else but smile at each other. Time stretched on and if I could, I would pause life at that exact moment where we belonged in each other’s arms and live in that moment until the day I die. But we don’t always get what we want and goodbyes always exist.

It was time for him to go. We hugged and I didn’t want to let him go. I wanted to be selfish and keep him for myself. We both went to the comfort room and shared our final kiss there. We hugged some more and we exchanged our goodbyes and a lot of I love yous were being said, like a mantra. The moment our hands parted, the moment he started walking away, I knew that my life will never be the same ever again. I watched his back disappear in the crowd. He looked back once, and it was my last memory of him.

It was the end of the road for Jon and I. I cried, a lot and up until now, I don’t think I am over him. But just last week, as I shed a tear over him, as I was stalking him in facebook and in instagram, he messaged me in facebook. I didn’t know what to feel, I didn’t know what to do. What he told me, I will keep it to myself for now and if I replied to him or not, that is for me to know. All that I will say is this; I love him and I know that he loves me. We both know that we belong to each other and maybe timing is such a bitch but we know that under the same stars, Jon and I, we are possible. Things are possible. I love him. And I will never get tired of saying that. I love him. Even if we’ve moved on in life. I love him. I love him. I love him.

THE END

Author: Chai Jidan
From the second to the fifth day of the first lunar month, Jiang Yuan busied herself with visiting families and friends. Hence, preparations for Bai Luo Yin to go abroad was temporarily placed to the side.

Finally, on the sixth day, after much difficulty, she finally found some free time. But without warning, she bumped into one of her old classmates, who had just returned from abroad. Unable to refuse her friend’s warm and enthusiastic invitation, she complied and accompanied her for dinner.

As she listened to her old classmate account on how great life was abroad, Jiang Yuan was convinced. This had not only confirmed Jiang Yuan’s conviction but it strengthened and made her even more determined. She must send Bai Luo Yin abroad, and once he has settled down over there, she will go and stay with her son once she reached her old age.

Jiang Yuan painted an extraordinarily beautiful and meticulous illusion with her imagination. She never once thought that it was a strenuous or tough task to accomplish. Her belief is that, there is nothing that she cannot attain if she set her mind and put effort into doing it.

Just take for example when she decided to sever her relationship with Bai Han Qi and planned to marry a rich and powerful man. Everyone around her had thought that she was delusional, practically crazy. That it was just her own wishful thinking. But, in the end, reality favored her and stood by her side.

No women are born under an unlucky star and has to endure hardship. There are only women who does not seek nor have the ambition to progress.

This is what Jiang Yuan often told herself.

It was already dark outside when she arrived at her villa in the military base. Jiang Yuan quickly made food and waited. Just as Gu Wei Ting and Gu Hai took their seats at the table, Jiang Yuan picked up her bags and made way toward the front door to change her shoes. While she was changing her shoes, she said, “I have some matters to tend to, you guys take your time eating.”

Gu Wei Ting remained unperturbed as he glanced at Jiang Yuan, “Where do you want to go this late at night?”

“I want to go and handle Luo Yin’s going abroad plans. I have to go and take a look.”

“That fast?” Gu Wei Ting slightly narrowed his eyes toward her.

Jiang Yuan smiled, “Fast? I been complaining that it’s too slow.”

“Why don’t you just go tomorrow? How do you know if the person will be available to see you or not this late?”

“I’m afraid something else will come up tomorrow and this matter will be delayed even longer. Don’t worry, I already made an appointment in advance.”

Jiang Yuan had already put on her shoes and was about to open the door when Gu Wei Ting said, “You could have just hired someone to handle these kind of matters for you.”

“Even then, I would still have to go and take a look, if not, I won’t be at ease.”

Afterwards, she bid Gu Wei Ting and Gu Hai farewell and happily made her way out of the door.

In reality, she has yet to make any contacts with Bai Han Qi with regards to this matter. To make matters worse, neither has she heard any information at all from Bai Luo Yin. But, in Jiang Yuan’s mind, those were only minute details. When everything is finally prepared, there will be more than enough time for her to deal with those two.

On this day, Gu Hai sat in his mother’s room the entire night.



Bai Han Qi had woken up extremely early in the morning. He pushed opened the door to Bai Luo Yin’s bedroom and said to him, “Today, I have to go out to Tong Tian’s older aunt’s place. Lunch is already made. It’s in the kitchen’s cabinet so heat it up in the afternoon and eat it.”

After he finished speaking, he headed out of the house with Aunt Zou and Meng Tian Ting. Big and small packages of gifts were bagged and held tightly between his fingers.

It was already the seventh day of the first lunar month, Bai Luo Yin picked up his cellphone and saw another text message from Shi Hui.

Bai Luo Yin didn’t even bother to look at the message as he replied back.

“I want to meet with you today about something.”

After a few second, Shi Hui responded.

“When?”

Bai Luo Yin had already gone into the bathroom by that time.

He faced the mirror as he brushed his teeth. Every time he picked up his head, his gaze met with the mirror, he could clearly see the school uniform that hung neatly behind him.

On the night of the thirtieth, before the Lunar New Year, having known for sure that Gu Hai would not be at his residential, Bai Luo Yin returned there. Actually, he didn’t have anything in mind when he went there, he just wanted to take look around. Since, after all, it was once half his home; his second home

Everything in there remained as it was the time that he had left. The only different was that, the bedroom wardrobe was opened.

On the floor next to his feet, was a school uniform jacket. It was evident that it had been trampled on. And it was made even more apparent from the dirt and wrinkles that adorned it.

Bai Luo Yin had only picked it up, took it home, and washed it.

Even until now, to this moment, it has yet to dry up completely.

……

Bai Luo Yin began to wash his face, but then, his skinned tingled and he could sense that the door was opened by someone. But, owing to the fact that there was still foam on his face, he didn’t dare open his eyes. All he could simply do was quickened his pace and splashed more water on his face.

But suddenly, a very powerful force grasped the back of his head and pressed it directly into the water that filled the sink. He choked several times. By the time his head was pulled out of the water, without even a chance to open his eyes, those obsidian orbs were wrapped in darkness.

He was blindfolded.

The sequence of event afterwards, was exactly the same, as the first time he was kidnapped and taken to Gu Hai’s place. It was only that, this time, the person, himself was doing it.

A familiar scent assailed Bai Luo Yin’s nasal. When he was taken into the car and had just sat down, he faced the person and repeatedly asked the person beside him, “Is it Gu Hai?”

The person beside him did not respond. Coldness remained intact on his face as he continued to drive the car.

“Speak up!” said Bai Luo Yin in a stiff yet harsh tone.

If it was really Gu Hai, Bai Luo Yin felt that this was absolutely and utterly unnecessary. At this very moment, he could calm and collectively talk with Gu Hai, but…it was just that, he was afraid, it wasn’t Gu Hai.

“Are you Gu Hai or not?”

“Gu Hai, is it you?”

Since Bai Luo Yin had been placed in the car, until he was taken out, he had asked the same questions, over and over again no less than ten times. Each time, each question was repeated, a sense of urgency and anxiousness danced between the words.

Several times, after Gu Hai heard his name being called out and saw said boy’s facial expression, he couldn’t help but want to open his mouth to respond. But, in the end, he held his tongue back, gritted his teeth and forced himself to remain silent.

Bai Luo Yin was thrown onto the person’s shoulder and carried upstairs.

At that exact moment, there were no doubts in Bai Luo Yin’s mind, who the person was.

But it was precisely because this person was Gu Hai, that a wave of fear conjured in the pit of Bai Luo Yin’s stomach and unfurled throughout his body.

Due to the temperature in the room being rather warm, in the minute that he entered, beads of sweats immediately perspired freely down his face. One by one, each article of clothing on his body was striped off. Some of which were just completely torn apart. Even though he was covered by sweats, he still felt the chill of the wind once it settled on his body.

His pant was torn off. His underwear was torn off.

Bai Luo Yin finally spoke.

“Gu Hai, I know it’s you. You don’t have to be like this!”

Gu Hai didn’t hear anything at all. Not a single word entered his ears as he pulled out his own member and stroked it. He stroked it until it became enlarged, hot and thick. It looked as though, it could conquer anything and everything.

Then, he fiercely and forcefully pressed down on Bai Luo Yin’s upper body, and raised his waist upward.

“Gu Hai, I’m telling you……mmmm……”

Gu Hai stuffed a towel into Bai Luo Yin’s mouth, blocking it. He untied and removed his blindfold, so that he can clearly see everything that followed.

Without any lubricate, without any foreplay, or even the slightest signal, he brutally thrust in.

In a split second, the extreme pain and anguish circulated at full force throughout Bai Luo Yin’s entire being. As if being torn apart, piece by piece, from the sudden attack, his whole body spasm.

Both of his hands have been handcuffed to the back of his body. Gu Hai could see the veins that protruded from the back of Bai Luo Yin’s hands. Every single string of vein, tightened like knots and cried out in unison, pain.

Pain, yes. Today I want you to feel the pain and make you remember it for the rest of your life.

Gu Hai moved without any hesitations. After every thrust, after every withdrawal, all he could see was red.

Before he left, he had stolen Bai Luo Yin’s cellphone. Now, he proceeded to replied back to Shi Hui’s message. He sent her the address and then instructed her to arrive within ten minutes.

Although Gu Hai slowed down, the intensity in his movements did not lessen.

Pain! Pain! Pain! The pain ripped apart all his internal organs.

It was so painful that the loud sound of Bai Luo Yin’s teeth grinding together floated throughout the room.

It was so painful that both his legs continued to tremble.

It was so painful that his head became dizzy.

Since he was young, he had faced and endured many hardships, sustained many wounds. But, compared to the pain that he felt now, those hardships and wounds were nothing. It felt more like feathers that had landed on him.

Gu Hai struggled through sessions of extremely powerful physical arousals and an enormously tortuous guilt that welled up in his heart.

He felt as though, he had traveled to and reached heaven in one moment, then kicked down to hell in the next moment. The taste of it were both pleasurable and extremely uncomfortable.

Bai Luo Yin’s back submerged in a layer of cold sweat. Gu Hai could faintly hear Bai Luo Yin say, ‘it hurts’ even as he bit down on the towel.

He used his hands to gently wipe the beads of sweats off of Bai Luo Yin’s forehead. And in low voice, he whispered, “Baby, it won’t hurt in a moment.”

Not soon after he finished saying those words, he suddenly thrust forward with full force. The gap that had once separated him and Bai Luo Yin, was no longer there, as they connected together completely. Not even a centimeter dared to come in between them.

Bai Luo Yin felt as if his intestines were about to explode.

Gu Hai started to speed up. His member, that was about the same thickness as his wrist, charged wildly and tussled inside of Bai Luo Yin’s narrow passage.

Bai Luo Yin could feel the top of his head spinning.

It’s so fucking painful.

It was so painful that every single strand of vein in his entire body tightened like a rope.

It was so painful that his facial features distorted into different directions.

It was so painful that he wishes, he could take a stick and beat himself to death.

“Ah……”

Finally, a scream interrupted Gu Hai’s movements.

Someone was standing at the doorway. She had stood there, shaking violently, for almost three minutes already.

She had witnessed many horrifying scenes before but nothing…nothing had struck more terror and caused her be consumed with fear, than the one before her eyes now. Those horrible scenes before, merely attacked her visual sensations. But this one, was purely psychological. It completely destroyed her willpower.

Shi Hui drew back her feet and had every intention to run, but she was clasped two men.

“Bring her in!”

Shi Hui cried, screamed and struggled as she was forced into the room.

Gu Hai smiled cruelly; an air of coldness encased and sunk deep into his expression, “Take a good look, pretty girl.”

Shi Hui struggled and squirmed as she cried out, “No……I don’t want to……”

Gu Hai started to move, right in front of Shi Hui’s eyes. He violently and fiercely…devoured and conquered the person that she loves.

“Do you see it? He is mine. Me, Gu Hai’s alone!”

The towel that was stuffed in Bai Luo Yin’s mouth was taken out. But he didn’t struggle nor did he yell out. He tightly bit down his teeth and didn’t even utter a single sound. Bean sized perspirations crawled down his forehead and dripped. He turned his face to the other side.

Gu Hai turned Bai Luo Yin’s head back again.

The scene that followed afterwards, became nightmares. Ones that etched itself into Shu Hui’s skin in the next few years to come. Every single time she thought of it, she would break out in cold sweats.

She was carried away by one of the men. Her face was now just a ghastly color, no blood remained on it. Her eyes lost all focus as her body continued to shake. She was left abandoned in an alley. It was only after a long while did a man found and took her to the hospital.

Gu Hai crazily thrust for a while. Then, he abruptly pulled out, stroked is member for a bit and ejaculated.

Bai Luo Yin laid on the bed, motionless.

After a long while, Gu Hai opened his mouth. All the fierceness that had consumed him had dispersed. Only pain and remorse remained.

“I know that you will hate me for the rest of your life for what I did.”

“But I would rather let you hate me…I would still have to do it. That girl doesn’t have any good intention, she’s too manipulative. You can’t be with her. I have to wipe her out no matter what. If I don’t, she won’t admit defeat that easily. I can’t just stand here and watch as she destroys you! I would rather you hurt and suffer this one time. But I am not willing to let you regret those years later.”

“I know…we are over now. I, Gu Hai, don’t have anymore unreasonable request. Only that, you can’t be with her. And if you choose to be together with someone else, I would never interfere.”

Gu Hai slowly released the handcuffs on Bai Luo Yin’s wrist. His eyes became red when he saw the trail of blood stains that remained.

“Bai Luo Yin, I, Gu Hai, can shed tears for you. I admit, I’m a bastard in front of you! I never kept my words. I told you that I trust you, but I ordered people to keep an eye you. I told you I wanted to break off our relationship, but instead, I kidnapped and brought you here. I said I respect you, but I raped you………I’m not human! But, I really truly love you.”

Bai Luo Yin does not respond at all. He doesn’t even turn his head.

“Bai Luo Yin, after such a long time, have you ever thought about me at all?”

Bai Luo Yin remained silent.

Gu Hai’s trembling hands caressed Bai Luo Yin’s hair. And with a hoarse voice, he asked, “Just now, did it hurt you really badly?”

Neither of Bai Luo Yin’s eyelids moved even the slightest.

Gu Hai’s movements suddenly became rigid as he froze in place. Then, he abruptly straightened out Bai Luo Yin’s body. Realization struck him hard when he noticed that there were no responses at all from the body in front of him.

He held Bai Luo Yin’s face in between his hands and called out to him several times, “Yin Zi, Yin Zi, wake up.”

No matter how many times he tried to keep Bai Luo Yin’s head up, it continued to hang loosely downward.

Gu Hai roared out in a fit of rage, “Hurry up and bring a doctor over here to me!!”

It was only then, did the two men that were standing nearby understood what had happened. They immediately paced backward and jetted out the door.

Without wasting even another second, Gu Hai wrapped a thick blanket around Bai Luo Yin’s body. He firmly secured him against his chest, hugging him. Pain and devastation engulfed his heart.

Written by: Roy aka Brefless
Napatigagal ako sa aking nakita. Namilog at nanlaki ang aking mga mata. Masusi kong pinagmasadan ang nakakamanghang sukat. Ang mamula-mulang ulo na parang makopa. At ang matabang tagdan na may manipis na balat na napapalibutan ng malago at kulot na buhok. Ninamnam ng aking mga mata ang nakalaylay na malalaking itlog na may mangilan-ngilang buhok. Tila makatas na prutas na handang papitas. At sa wakas, namalas ko rin ang kaakit-akit nyang kahubdan.

Hindi ako nakatiis. Pahangos akong tumayo upang ito’y damhin at lasapin. Nang akma ko itong hahaplusin, isang malakas na ugong ng sasakyan ang aking narinig na biglang humimpil sa tapat ng aming bakuran. Binaling ko ang aking paningin sa labas ng bintana. Napako ako sa aking kinatatayuan. Namataan ko ang nakatatanda kong kapatid na pababa ng sinasakyang traysikel. At sa isang iglap, ang marubdob kong pagnanasa ay nabalutan ng takot at kaba.

“Roy, buksan mo itong gate”, pasigaw na utos ng aking kapatid.

“Sandali lang kuya. Bababa na ako”, natataranta kong tugon.

Agad akong tumalima sa kanyang pagtawag at naiwan si kuya Joseph na nagmamadaling hinagilap ang kanyang saplot.

“O heto, meryenda, galing kay inay,” sabay abot ng aking kapatid pagpasok ng tarangkahan.

Agad kong sinilip ang laman ng loob ng lalagyan.

“Wow! Ginataang halo-halo na nilahukan pa ng bilo-bilo”, aking bulalas na may halong kabang itinatago sa loob ng dibdib.

“Tapos na bang linisin ni kuya Joseph ang sukal sa likod?”, mausisa nyang tanong habang nauunang umakyat ng kubo.

“Tapos na Jay-R, kanina pa”, malakas ngunit kalmadong sagot ni kuya Joseph.

Naulinigan pala ni kuya Joseph ang tanong ni kuya Jay-R habang nasa loob ng silid. Pagtapat sa pinto ng silid, napawi ang aking agam-agam ng maabutan namin si kuya Joseph na hubad-baro at naka shorts habang inaayos ang sarili. Dumiretso ako sa hapag-kainan at inihain ang meryendang dala ni kuya Jay-R.

“Halika kuya Joseph. Kain tayo ng ginatang halo-halo”, aking alok sa kanya na parang walang nangyari.
“Mukhang masarap yan ah. Matikman nga,” masiglang tugon ni kuya Joseph.

Ibinuhos ko na lang sa pagkain ng maligat na bilo-bilo ang naudlot kong sandali kay kuya Joseph. Si kuya Joseph naman ay kaswal na nakikipagkuwentuhan sa aking kapatid habang nilalasap ang sarap ng ginatang halo-halo na tunay na katakam-takam kapag nagsasanib ang ligat at linamnam nito sa bibig.

“Ubos na?”, di ko makapaniwalang tanong.

“Mukhang nabitin ka ah”, natatawang tugon ni kuya Joseph na may gustong ipahiwatig.

“Halata ba?”, balik kong tanong sa kanya.

“Nabitin ka pa sa lagay na yan. Eh, andami mo ng nakain”, sabat ng aking kapatid.

“Bumawi ka na lang sa susunod”, hirit ni kuya Joseph sabay tapon sa akin ng pilyong ngiti.

Pagkatapos kumain, niyakag ni kuya Joseph ang aking kapatid na magpalipas-oras sa ibaba ng kubo. Papalubog na ang araw ng muling umakyat ang dalawa. Tila walang katapusan ang kanilang huntahan. At ng magtakipsilim, tuluyan ng nagpaalam ang aking kapatid pabalik ng bahay.

Nagsimulang mag-ayos si kuya Joseph ng kanyang sarili. Di maikakaila sa kanyang mga kilos at galaw ang matinding pananabik na kanyang nararamdaman. Pananabik na muling masilayan at makapiling ang kanyang sinisintang si Jenny. At sa balkonaheng aking kinalalagyan, aking nauulinigan ang mga dagundong at ingay na nagmumula sa malaking bahay nila Jenny. Tila ipinaparating na isang engrandeng okasyon ang matutunghayan ngayong gabi.

Pagkatapos ng ilang sandaling paghihintay, di ko inaasahan na ako’y mapangko sa aking kinauupuan. Agad kong nasamyo ang humahalimuyak na pabangong nanunuot sa aking ilong. At sa aking harapan, matikas na nakatayo si kuya Joseph habang litaw na litaw ang kanyang kaguwapuhan sa magara nyang kasuotan. Kapansin-pansin ang makinis at may kaputian niyang kutis na lalong nagpatingkad sa kanyang itsura.

“Ano sa tingin mo, bagay ba?”, may pag-aalinlangang tanong ni kuya Joseph.

“Hay naku, marami na naman ang maglalaway sa ‘yo ngayong gabi”, pagbibigay kumpiyansa ko sa kanya.

“Tara na. Baka hinahanap ka na ni Jenny”, pagmamadali kong anyaya.

Nagsilbing tanglaw ang liwanag ng buwan sa aming paglalakad. Pagsapit namin ng bulwagan, malugod kaming hinarap ni Jenny na napaka-elegante at nakabibighaning tignan sa kanyang napakagandang suot na gown. Marami ng bisita ang nasa paligid. Lahat ay nakapostura at naggagandahan ng kasuotan. Ngunit agaw-pansin ang malakas na presensya ni kuya Joseph. Ang mga dilag ay napapalingon kapag siya ay napapadaan sa tapat nito.

Umusad ang gabi. Ang lahat ay nasiyahan sa maiksing programang inihanda. Maya-maya pa’y isa-isa ng nagpaalam ang mga dumalong bisita. Si kuya Joseph na kanina ay nasa aking tabi, ngayon ay kasama na ng mga kalalakihan na tumutungga ng alak. At ng tapunan ko ng tingin, bigla itong tumalilis sa umpukan patungo sa aking kinaroroonan.

“Mauna ka na Roy umuwi. Susunod na rin ako mamaya.”

“Sumabay ka na sa akin. Uwi na tayo”, pagpupumilit ko sa kanya.

“Sandali na lang ako dito. Sige na, mauna ka na sa kubo ng hindi ka mainip kahihintay sa akin.”

“Sandali ka na lang pala eh. Di hihintayin na lang kita,” pagmamatigas ko.

“Roy, huwag matigas ang ulo,” naiiritang tugon ni kuya Joseph.

Nakasimangot akong umuwing mag-isa ng kubo. Ipininid ko ang pinto at hinayaan kong nakabukas ang ilaw sa silid. Tahimik na ang gabi. Wala ng ibang maririnig maliban sa tiktik ng orasan at mga huni ng kuliglig. Ipinikit ko ang aking mga mata ngunit ayaw pa rin akong dalawin ng antok.

Pagkatapos ng nakakabagot na paghihintay, nakarinig ako ng mga kaluskos na nagmumula sa ibaba ng kubo. Bumalikwas ako sa aking pagkakahiga at sumilip sa labas ng bintana. Aking nabanaagan si kuya Joseph na susuray-suray na umaakyat ng hagdan at di na magkandaugapay sa paghakbang. Kagyat akong humangos papalabas ng silid.

Sabay sa bagbukas ng pinto ang pagdantay ng kanyang namumutok na bisig sa aking mga balikat. Ang nakalugmok niyang katawan ay pilit kong inaalalayan papasok ng silid. Bago ko pa siya maihiga ng maayos, ang mabigat nyang katawan ay tuluyan ng nabuwal sa ibabaw ng katre. Tinapik-tapik ko ang kanyang pisngi upang gisingin ang kanyang ulirat ngunit nanatiling nakapikit at hindi na makagulapay sa sobrang kalasingan. Sa kanyang paghinga, nalanghap ko ang pinaghalong amoy ng alak at sigarilyo.

Inayos ko ang kanyang katawan sa pagkakahiga at saka hinubad ang kanyang sapatos at medyas. Tinungo ko ang kusina at kinuha ang tabo na may maligamgam na tubig. Muli akong umupo sa kanyang gilid at banayad na idinampi ang mainit na bimpo sa kanyang mukha. At sa bawat paghaplos, narinig ko ang mahina at bahagya niyang pag-ungol na siyang nagpagaan at nagbigay ginhawa sa kanyang pakiramdam.

Sinimulan kong tanggalin sa pagkakabutones ang pang-itaas niyang saplot. Ngayo’y malaya kong pinagmasdan ang kaakit-akit niyang katawan. Ang malamig na hangin na pumapasok sa siwang ng bintana ang pumigil sa akin na hagurin ng basang bimpo ang kanyang katawan. Sunod kong kinalas ang kanyang sinturon. Punumpuno ng pagnanasa at pananabik na ibinaba ang kanyang pantalon. Lumantad sa akin ang kanyang makisig na kabuuan na natatakpan ng pang-ilalim na puting saplot. Ng madako ang aking paningin sa nakayupyop nyang bukol, sumidhi ang aking pagnanasa na muling masilayan ang nakakahumaling nyang kalamnan.

Itinaas ko ang tingin sa kanyang kaaya-ayang mukha. Mahimbing ang pagkakatulog na may kasamang mahinang paghilik. Ito ang hinihintay kong pagkakataon. Ang maipadama ko ng malaya kay kuya Joseph ang munti kong kakayahang magpaligaya. Ng walang bantulot. Ng walang pag-alala. Ng walang kaba.

Pahaplos na gumapang ang aking mga kamay. Dinama ko ang bawat umbok, kurba at hugis ng kanyang hubad na katawan. Masuyo at maingat ko siyang hinalikan mula leeg pababa sa kanyang matipunong dibdib. At doon ako napanatili. Ang mala-rosas na nakausling bahagi nito ay tila kending aking dinila-dilaan bago tuluyang sinipsip. Muli, isang mahinang pag-ungol ang aking narinig mula sa kanyang bibig.

Nagpatuloy sa paglalakbay ang aking mga labi. Ninamnam ko ang bawat bahagi ng kanyang katawan na dinaanan ng aking bibig mula sa kanyang impis na tiyan pababa sa kanyang pusod. Pagdating sa aking pakay, pansamantala akong tumigil sa aking pagsimsim. Muli kong hinagod ng tingin ang umbok nakapagitan sa kanyang mga hita at walang pasubaling sinalat ang kabuuan nito. Nagsimula itong pumintig. At tuluyan kong nadama ang pagkabuhay ng ugat ng kanyang nakatagong kalamnan.

Gamit ang dalawang kamay, dahan dahan kong hinilang pababa ang natitira nyang saplot. At muli akong napatda at nagilalas sa aking nakita ng buong giting na umigkas ang mahaba at mataba nitong sukat. Bagay na nagpabilis ng tibok ng aking puso at nagpasidhi sa aking damdamin na ito’y muling damhin ng aking mga kamay at labi.

Kaagad kong kinulong sa aking palad ang naghuhumindig nyang kaselanan at taas-baba ko itong hinagod. Habang nagpipista ang aking kamay sa paglaro ng kanyang kahabaan, bumaba ang aking mga labi upang lasapin ang kanyang mga singit hanggang sa halinhinang nilaro ng aking dila ang kanyang dalawang malalaki at malulusog na itlog. Sa mapangahas kong pag-angkin sa sensitibong bahagi ng kanyang katawan, siya ay napasinghap at napaliyad hanggang sa lumabas ang kanyang paunang katas.

At ng hindi na ako makatiis, aking binumbong ang kanyang paghuhumindig. Namumuwalan man, walang habas at buong sidhi kong sinibasib ang kanyang kahabaan. Parang ayaw kong matapos ang gabi sa kakaibang sarap na aking nararamdaman. Nakadagadag pa sa sarap ang nakakadarang na init ng kanyang katawan habang urong-sulong kong nilasap ang kanyang kalamnan. Nangangawit at nahihirapan man sa aking panginginain dahil sa hindi matawaran nitong sukat, ito ay hindi ko alintana dahil kapalit nito’y matinding ligaya na bumabalot sa aking kaibuturan.

Nararamdaman ko na labis na nasasarapan si kuya Joseph sa aking pagmamaniobra dahil sa kanyang walang humpay na pag-ungol. Makalipas ang ilang sandali, isang malakas na pag-ungol ang kanyang pinakawalan kasabay sa pagsirit ng kanyang masaganang katas. Halos mapugto ang aking hininga sa hindi maampat-ampat na pagsirit nito sa loob ng aking bibig. Aking iniluwa sa pagkabigla ang mga dagtang tumigmak sa aking bibig.

Ng ako’y mahimasmasan, ako’y tumayo at sinimulang punasan ang lupaypay niyang katawan. Matapos linisin ang kanyang kahubdan, muli kong isinuot ang pang-ilalim niyang saplot. Sa mahimbing niyang pagtulog, isang matamis na ngiti ang sumilay sa kanyang mga labi na tila idinuduyan sa ligayang aking hatid. Sabay sa pagbalot ng kumot ng aming katawan ang huling hudyat na maiinit na sandali na di ko na muling matitikman.
-Wakas-

P.S.

Maraming pong salamat sa mga tumangkilik ng aking lathain na hango sa totoo kong buhay. Humihingi po ako ng paumanhin at inabot pa ng ilang buwan bago ko tuluyang tinapos ang aking kwento. Gayunpaman, ang nais ko lang ay maibahagi sa inyo ang mga di-makakalimutang pangyayari na sumubok sa aking pagkatao.

Alam kong maraming agam-agam ang naiwan pagkatapos nyong basahin ang aking kuwento. Di nagtagal, tuluyan ng kinuha si kuya Joseph ng kanyang ina pabalik ng kanilang bayan. Naandon ang lungkot lalo na’t napamahal na siya sa akin. Pinilit ko siyang makalimutan kahit nahihirapan ako dahil tanggap ko naman na walang paroroonan ang pagkahumaling ko sa aking pinsan.

Lumipas ang tatlong taon, di ko inaasahan na muling magku-krus ang aming landas. Ng panahong iyon, sa Maynila na ako nagpatuloy ng pag-aaral ng hayskul ng bumisita siya sa tinutuluyan naming apartment. Nagulat lang ako dahil sa pagkakataong iyon, kasama nya ang kanyang nagdadalantaong asawa. At aaminin ko, sa muli naming pagkikita, naramdaman ko na andito pa rin siya sa aking puso.

Sa kanyang panandaliang pagbisita, di pa rin naaalis ang kanyang kapilyuhan. Andon yung yakapin nya ako ng mahigpit at ipasalat ang kanyang umbok sa shorts kapag kami lang dalawa ang tao sa aming silid. Naudlot lang ang aming ginagawa ng biglang kumatok ang kanyang misis. At yun na pala ang kanyang huling yakap.

Dalawang buwan pagkatapos magluwal ng isang sanggol na babae ang kanyang asawa, isang nakakagimbal na balita ang nakarating sa amin. Pumanaw na si kuya Joseph. Siya ay nasawi ng pag-uundayin ng saksak habang nakikipag-inuman sa kanilang bayan. Pinili ko na hindi sumilip sa kanyang burol. Gusto ko ay mamalagi siyang buhay sa aking ala- ala.

Sa paglipas ng panahon, pilit kong pinaglabanan ang aking nararamdaman. Sinabi ko sa sarili ko, si kuya Joseph lang ang una at huling lalaking aking mamahalin. At ngayon, masaya na akong bumubuo ng sarili kong pamilya. Isinunod ko ang pangalan ni kuya Joseph sa panganay kong anak.

Kay kuya Joseph…rest in peace my beloved cousin. Iniaalay ko sa ‘yo ang kuwentong ito na matagal kong itinago.

Ang inyong lingkod,

Roy a.k.a. Brefless

Written by: Palautog
Aminado ako na nung bata pa ay lalaki talaga ang gusto ko. But matatawag rin naman na discreet ako dahil nga buong akala ng mga kaibigan ko at pati na rin pamilya ko na isa akong tunay na lalaki. Hindi nila alam na lalaki din pala ang gusto ko.

Sumakay kami ng taxi papunta sa bahay nila ramon. Di naman ito kalayuan sa amin. But gusto kasi ni ramon na maaga kaming matapos para di rin ako pagalitan ng aking mga magulang.

Pagpasok pa lang namin sa bahay ay sinabi na kaagad ni ramon na sabay kaming maligo para presko daw at tiyak na malinis at mabango ang mga katawan namin.

Unang pumasok si ramon ng banyo at sumunod naman ako. Nagsabunan kaming dalawa. At tila nabubuhay na rin ang alaga ni ramon nung sinabon ko na ang manoy nya. Pinatalikod din ako ni ramon upang sabunin din ang pwet ko.

Tapos pumunta siya sa may inidoro. Kahit may sabon pa ang titi niya ay umupo siya sa inidoro na kani-kanina lang nyang isara. Hinawakan ang titi nya na parang bakal sa tigas at laki.

“jase upuan mo titi ko,” sabi ni ramon sa akin. “ha? Mahapdi siguro yan manong ramon kasi may sabon. At di ka ba magsusuot ng condom?” tanong ko kay ramon.

“malinis ako jase. Di ako basta-basta gumagamit ng mga babae simula nung mag-asawa na ako. Tanging asawa at kamay ko lang ang aking katalik,” ang sagot naman ni ramon sa akin.

Di ko alam kong matawa ako sa sinabi ni ramon o magagalit kaya tumango na lang ako at nagpaubaya sa kagustuhan niya.

Kaya habang siya ay nakaupo sa inidoro, lumapit na rin ako sa kanya at unti-unting itinutok ang kanyang naghuhumindig na ari sa aking butas. Inuupuan ko ito. Naging madulas na rin ang butas ko dahil sa sabon.

“aaaaaahhhh maaaannnooooongggg… haaaaapppddddiiiii naaaaammmaaaannnnn,” paungol kong sabi kay ramon habang baon na baon ang kanyang titi sa aking butas.

“oooooohhhhhh saaaaarrrrrraaaaaaapppppppp mo namang bata ka!... Sikip ng butaaaas moooo.”

Magkayakap kaming dalawa ni ramon habang nasa loob ng butas ko ang titi niya. Pataas-baba ako sa ari nya habang sinususo naman nya ang mga utong ko.

“aaaaahhhhh maaaannnnoooongggg sssssaaaaarrrrraaaaapppp moooooooohhhhhhhh…” napapaungol na rin ako sa pagkantot ni ramon sa akin.

Masarap ding kumantot si ramon gaya ni tiyo ben. Iba talaga kumantot ang mga married guys. Di na rin namin napigilan ang aming mga sarili at tuluyan na ring naghalikan.

Dahil na rin sa sarap na nadarama ay ako na rin mismo ang nagpupumilit na ibaon at idiin ang sandata ni ramon sa aking butas.

“maaaaallllaaaaapittt naaaa akoooo maaaannnoooonnngggg,” sigaw ko na paungol kay ramon.

“aaaaaakooooo din jaaaaassssseeee,” nanginginig na sagot ni ramon sa akin. At sabay nga kaming nilabasan ni ramon. Ako sa kanyang tiyan at dibdib, siya naman ay sa aking butas.

“sarap mo naman manong. Pareho kayo ni tiyo ben,” sabi ko kay ramon. “masarap ka din jase. Magaling chumupa halatang praktisado hehehe,” sagot din ni ramon sa akin. Tumawa lang ako.

Pagkatapos naming nagkantutan ay nagpatuloy kami sa pagligo. Inulit rin naming ang pagtatalik sa kama nilang mag-asawa. Naka-dalawang rounds din si ramon sa akin. Dahil sa pareho kaming gutom sa ginawang sexercise ay kumain na rin kami ni ramon ng hapunan bago ako tuluyang umuwi ng bahay.

Medyo late na nga akong nakauwi sa bahay pero naniwala naman sila mama at papa sa binigay ko na rason na may ginawa kaming school project sa bahay ng isa naming kaklase.

Pumanhik na rin ako sa itaas at pumasok sa aking kwarto. Nakahiga na pala si tiyo ben sa aking kama. Akala ko ay tulog na si tiyo ben kaya medyo nagulat na lang ako nung sinabi nya na “matagal ka yatang umuwi ngayon jase.”

Sinagot ko na rin siya ng “may tinapos kasi kaming school project tiyo ben. Bakit po ba?”

“kanina pa kasi naghihintay ang alaga ko sayo. Sabik na sabik nang pumasok sa butas mo,” nakangising sagot ni tiyo ben sa akin.

At tuluyan na kaming nagkantutan ni tiyo ben. Sinubukan namin ni tiyo ben ang lahat na posisyon na puedeng gawin sa sex. Merong nakahiga kami pareho na nakatagilid habang nagkantutan. Meron ding nakahiga siya at akoy nakaupo sa kanyang tarugo. Meron ding nakaluhod ako habang nakasubsob ang ulo sa may kama at doggy style kami ni tiyo ben.

“saaaarrraaaaap mo talaga tiyo ben,” umuungol na naman ako sa sarap na nadarama sa tuwing labas masok ang titi ng aking tiyuhin sa aking butas.

Nakadalawang rounds din kami bago nagpahinga. Uminom kami pareho ng tubig. Halatang nauuhaw sa pagtatalik namin. Ewan ko rin kung bakit dalawang beses pa din akong nilabasan eh naka-dalawa na rin ako kanina kay ramon.

Bago maligo sa umaga at bago matulog sa gabi ay nagkantutan kami ni tiyo ben. Yun ang naging pang-araw-araw na ritual naming dalawa na para bang bagong kasal at nasa honeymoon stage pa. hehehe…

Maraming beses din naming pinagsaluhan ang maiinit na pagtatalik sa tuwing nakaramdam kami ng libog ni tiyo ben.

Hanggang sa dumating ang araw na siya ay tapos na sa pagprocess ng kanyang requirements at kailangan ng bumalik sa bohol.

Medyo nalungkot rin ako kasi wala na akong tiyuhin na puedeng gapangin sa panahong taglibog ako. Kaya nung sa kahuli-hulihang gabi naming magkatabi ay pinaligaya namin ang isat-isa.

 “tiyo ben idiin mo pa. Ibaon mo ang tarugo mo sa butas ko. Ang sarap ng titi mo tiyoooooo,” umuungol ako habang kinakantot ako ni tiyo ben. Nung malapit na siyang nilabasan ay lumuhod na rin ako at nakanganga. Handa nang lunukin ang kanyang tamod. Nilunok ko ang lahat ng kanyang katas.

Naka-3 rounds din kami ni tiyo ben at natulog pa na magkayakap.
Kinabukasan ay maagang naghanda si tiyo ben para umalis ng tuluyan sa aming bahay. Pagkatapos nyang maligo ay pinagsaluhan naming muli sa kahuli-hulihang pagkakataon ang masarap na pagtatalik sa aking kwarto .

“mami-miss ko ito jase. Ang masikip mong butas, ang kagalingan mo sa pagchupa, ang araw-araw nating pagtatalik,” ang patuloy na pagkwento ni tiyo ben sa akin.

Medyo naluluha din akong isipin ang mga nangyari sa amin. Pero kailangan ding umuwi ni tiyo ben sa kanyang pamilya.

Tuluyan na ngang nagpaalam si tiyo ben sa aking pamilya.

Hanggang ngayon ay di pa rin nakabalik muli si tiyo ben sa aming bahay.
Si ramon naman ay nabalitaan nalang ni papa na lumipat na pala ng lugar kaya wala na rin akong balita sa kanya. Ang nangyari naman sa aming dalawa ni ramon noon ay naging una at huling pagtatalik.

Sana ay nagustuhan nyo ang kwento ko sa dalawang lalaking nagpaubaya na rin sa akin sa makamundong pagnanasa.

-WAKAS-

Author: Chai Jidan
“Dad, I have something to ask you.”

Bai Han Qi turned over, his face barely itches away from Bai Luo Yin, staring directing at said boy. His back straightened out as an earnest and solemn expression laid out pleasantly across his face.

Bai Luo Yin felt a bit awkward and uncomfortable, “Why are you wearing this kind of expression huh? I just want to have a chat with you.”

“Oh…” Bai Han Qi immediately loosened up, allowing his body to relax, “I thought you wanted to discuss about national affairs.”

If it was to discuss national affairs, no one going to ask you…Bai Luo Yin thought to himself.

“I wanted to ask you, what kind of person do you think Gu Hai is?”

One of Bai Han Qi’s finger immediately sprung forth out and poked Bai Luo Yin’s head, “What did I say? I was certain that there was a problem between you and Da Hai…”

Bai Luo Yin let out a long sigh, “First, don’t worry about that, just give an objective opinion on Gu Hai as a person.”

“That kid, is absolutely wonderful.”

Bai Han Qi then proceeded to raise his thumbs upward in approval.

Bai Luo Yin laid on the bed, his chin rested on the pillow as he quietly waited for Bai Han Qi to continue. However, Bai Hai Qi only grunted twice to reiterate his approval of Gu Hai’s excellent characteristic. Afterwards, no other words followed those two sounds.

“That’s it?”

“Yeah, what else is there to say?”

An air of defeat hung close to Bai Luo Yin’s face; his obsidian orbs glared at Bai Hai Qi, “Can you be a bit more specific about it? For example, his character, personality, his behavior towards other people…”

Bai Han Qi rack his brain out for a second before prudently saying, “There’s no problems with his character, his personality is pretty good, and his behavior toward others is quite good as well.”

…it’s the same as not saying anything at all…forget it. There’s no need to ask anymore, asking is the same as not asking anyways.

Bai Luo Yin pulled the blanket over his body and planned on going to sleep just like that.

Finally, when Bai Luo Yin decided not to hold on to anymore hope, Bai Han Qi, contrariwise, slowly began to speak again.

“Da Hai ah…that kid. He comes from a good background, yet he’s not vain. He’s ambitious, hardworking, and also generous. The one thing that I like about this kid the most, is that, he’s realistic. He would never play any dirty tricks or deceive people. Before I thought, you youngster don’t have any conscience, but now I know that it’s not like that. Kids nowadays are very conscience, and some don’t have any good conscience. But Da Hai, this kid, is straightforward. He wears his heart on his sleeves. If he likes something, he likes it, if he doesn’t, then he doesn’t. He is absolute and can make a clear distinction between what he loves and hates. He means what he says and will absolutely stand by it.”

Bai Luo Yin silently listen before his eyes opened again, slightly widening. His lips parted and he asked, “Are you good at telling if someone is good or not?”

“Of course. My brain may not be as good as yours, but I definitely know people better than you. How long have I been living? How many people have I met already? You’ve only live for this long, those bit of people you’ve met only amounts to the number of fingers on your hands.”

Bai Luo Yin asked again, “Do you think, someone like Gu Hai, if he were to get irritated, he’d do anything?”

“Like what? Give me an example.”

“For example if he dislikes a girl and found her to be an eyesore, would he find someone to violate her…those kinds of things?”

“How can that be?” Bai Han Qi easily knocked the question down, “Da Hai’s conscience is absolutely honest and proper. He would never do anything so wicked and lacking in virtue.”

“What if he really hated the girl?”

“Even if he were to hate that girl, it can’t be more than your mother? Did he do any of that to your mother? As for Meng Jian Zhi*, that guy really knows how to pissed people off right? Da Hai only gave him, what, maybe a few punches? Did he kill Meng Jian Zhi?”

Bai Luo Yin didn’t utter another word afterwards as his eyes gradually shifted toward the wall.

Afterwards, Bai Han Qi became really tired. When his eyes became hazy and unconsciousness slowly beckoned him, Bai Han Qi patted the blanket that was wrapped around Bai Luo Yin’s body and muttered: “I swear on my head, Da Hai, definitely would never do anything of that nature. Don’t foolishly ponder about it anymore. Quick, go to sleep.”

Did I really misunderstood him?…

Bai Luo Yin’s eyelid soon became heavy and slowly they dragged him into slumber.

After midnight had sauntered by, he slept really lightly. The side of his ear were engrossed with Bai Han Qi’s snores. Bai Luo Yin couldn’t clearly discern whether he was dreaming or reminiscing.

A scene of the night that Bai Han Qi got married, played out in front of him. Gu Hai placed him on his back and carried him toward the rooftop. He hugged him tightly and said, “I promise you, besides your dad, no one will ever be as good to you, as I am.”



For the first time ever, under Sun Jingwei most earnest and heartfelt persuasion, Gu Hai, after an unprecedentedly long period of time, agreed to return home and celebrate the New Year with Gu Wei Ting.

It was already the 28th day of the twelfth month of the lunar year.

The streets seemed more desolate, more desperate than ever. And, since all signs of traffic has miraculously disappeared, the drive proceeded without any hindrance.

It is a common knowledge amongst all the residents of Beijing that whenever any holiday arrived, Beijing inevitably became a city of ghosts, empty and lonely. Those revered traditions and customs that once reigned above all, has gradually lessen over the years. People has, without a doubt, become more and more materialistic. And this, in turn, has weakened people’s interest in celebrating the coming year.

Half a month has gone by quickly, since Gu Hai returned to his residence. This time, he only needed to grab a few things before taking leave.

Bai Luo Yin’s car remained untouched, shielded under the protection of the garage. It was in the same spot; in the same positive as it was before. Never once did Gu Hai’s sight land on it as he drew the key out of his own car’s ignition and sauntered into the elevator.

The elevator, slowly yet surely, rose. Gu Hai stood alone in the empty elevator when suddenly, a simple string of thought sprung up in his mind. He thought that for the passed two weeks, he, himself, haven’t lived like a human being…like an actual person.

Every day, besides eating, the time meant for sleeping was spent training. He simply didn’t give himself the time or space to think or reflect at all. Occasionally, as a distraction, he would seek out an older soldier and listen as he shared his experiences in the army. It was only then, would his spirit and energy sneakily reassembled into his body, sobering him up.

There were no fucking differences, between him and the military dogs, that were crazily running around wildly on the training ground! This is how Gu Hai would describe himself.

Gu Hai looked into the cabinets and flipped through some clothes. He had planned on staying at home for a few days.

Since the day Bai Luo Yin heartlessly wounded him, until this very second, each and every single one of Gu Hai’s feelings have diminished. Those feelings that engulfed and defined a person were no longer there to be seen.

Before, he had thought that the hardest thing to endure was living under the same roof as Jiang Yuan, but now, even that was no longer considered a problem. Sure enough, it was time…time was needed for people to learn how to tolerate things.

Finally, when he got to the bottom of the wardrobe, he saw a neatly folded school uniform jacket. It was wrapped in a layer of clothes, encasing it, like a box.

It was the jacket that Bai Luo Yin had personally hand washed for him.

At that time, it was so precious that nothing in the world could compare to it. He never even had the heart to wear it. So there it remained, in the wardrobe, untouched.

As if a spell was casted upon him, Gu Hai tore at the wrapping and flung the jacket to the ground. He mercilessly stomped on it three times. Each time his foot made contact with it, he felt as though, he had just trampled on and crushed his own heart.

Into his eyes crept the old somberness of heartache.

With not even a second to spare, the aching charged forth and traveled toward the core of his being. It began to gripped tightly around those invisible strings that held his heart together. Firmly it squeezed and attacked at that empty and miserable pulsating muscle. There was nothing he could do to ward off those unshakeable heartaches. The pain was unbearable…so painful that Gu Hai wanted to bash his head against the wall.

You fucking idiot! You can just fucking stay with her until you’re fed up. Just let her lie to you and play around with you. Sooner or later, the day you fucking suffer will come!



“Tomorrow is the 30th day of the month,” said Shi Hui.

Bai Luo Yin silently looked at her and asked, “When are you going back?”

“Go back? Back where?” Shi Hui’s bright eyes sparkled.

“Go back abroad. You can’t just abandon your studies just like that right?”

An indifferent expression painted itself onto Shi Hui’s face, “So what, abandoning is abandoning. In any case, I want to stay here beside you.”

“You…”

“Don’t say anything!” Shi Hui covered her ears, “I don’t want to hear it, I don’t hear it.”

Bai Luo Yin lit up a cigarette and silently smoked.

Shi Hui’s focus remained on Bai Luo Yin. The entirety of him veiled her vision. That was already the fifth cigarette Bai Luo Yin smoked since they sat down. She heard other people say that men smoked to pass time.

Bai Luo Yin smoked frequently…does it mean, during times like this, he found it hard to bear? Shi Hui tried to will those thoughts away; she did not want to let those it consumed her. But the facts compelled her to think such thoughts over and over again. Since she came back until now, Bai Luo Yin’s expressions has lessened.

Initially, she could still see some excitements and nervousness, but now, only apathetic remained.

She had thought that if she suffered such a big grievance, Bai Luo Yin would take pity on her and be more caring toward her in any way possible. But, on the contrary, besides the usual concerns here and there, Shi Hui couldn’t feel anything else.

Sometimes she also felt tired. And at times, she would secretly wipe away her tears as well. She had also thought of giving up. But when she thought about things all over again; about all the feelings and energy that she had sacrificed, she couldn’t…she was extremely unwilling to let go.

Feelings can be rekindled and reconstructed, but finding a second person like him was out of the question.

“Bai Luo Yin, why don’t we go abroad together? That way, my studies won’t be abandoned and you’ll also have an even better prospect and broader view of the world. Before, you didn’t have this option, but now you do. Why don’t you go out and charge forth? Do you know? Foreign high school’s life is pretty good. It’s not like how you guys spend it here, so mundane and even the livelihood is inhuman. If I didn’t miss you, I wouldn’t even come back. Think about it, okay?”



When the three members of the family were eating, Jiang Yuan excitedly said, “You know, about Luo Yin going abroad, there’s hope.”

The color on Gu Hai’s face changed, but he pretended not to hear anything and continued to eat.

“He came around to that idea himself?” asked Gu Wei Ting.

“More or less.”

The more Jiang Yuan talked the happier she got as she picked a piece of fish for Gu Hai, urging him, “Xiao Hai, you can go together. You two can take care of each other.”

“I won’t go.”

“Eh? Aren’t the two of you pretty close. To the point where neither one can leave the other?”

Gu Hai coldly rebuked, “I don’t want to go.”

Jiang Yuan still wanted to say something when Gu Wei Ting who was at the side said, “If he’s not willing to go then don’t let him go. He can stay here and afterwards he can enlist in the army. Staying in the army is the same thing.”

“I guess so…” Jiang Yuan laughed, having nothing else to say.

Gu Hai spoke again, “I don’t want to enlist in the army.”

“You don’t want to enlist in the army?” This time Gu Wei Ting’s eyebrows twitched, “Why won’t you enlist in the army? Since you were little, you grew up in the army. When there’s nothing to do, you would go back there and run. If you don’t enlist in the army, then what do you want to do?”

Gu Hai calmly looked at Gu Wei Ting and with a blank expression he said, “I ran there, but it doesn’t mean that I like it.”

When he was done speaking, he placed his chopsticks down and returned to his room.

Gu Wei Ting wanted to get up but Jiang Yuan forced him to stay.

“It’s New Year, don’t put any more pressure on him. Let’s wait until after the New Year to talk about it again…”

Right at that moment, the cellphone that sat on the side, rung. Jiang Yuan patted Gu Wei Ting on the shoulder, “I’m going to take the call, you stay here and eat slowly.”

Once the cellphone was placed against her ear, she could immediately hear a sweet voice wishing her well.

“Auntie, Happy New Year.”

“Ah, it’s Shi Hui right?” Jiang Yuan’s brows rose in delights. She was all smiles upon here that sweet voice, “Auntie just finished eating. Say hello to your family for me.”

“Okay Auntie.”

Jiang Yuan immediately changed the topic to what she was most concerned about.

“That’s right, how was your talk with Luo Yin? Last time, didn’t you say, Luo Yin might just go abroad for your sake?”

“Yes, that’s true. But I ran into a little bit of difficulty. Bai Luo Yin said he’s reluctant to leave his father.”

Jiang Yuan’s brows knitted together into a frown, “I knew it, that hindrance would be Lao Bai. Don’t worry, I go over and have a talk with Lao Bai later and try to persuade him.”

“Auntie’s really powerful.”

“I’m not as strong as you, you silly girl! I’ve spoken to him many times about this matter before, but each time he would ignore me. Now, he’s definitely thinking about it. It’s all due to your hard work.”

“But…I feel really useless.”

“Oh goodness, my little lucky star, you have more than enough capabilities. Listen to Auntie’s words, from now on, talk to him a lot more about it, and constantly remind him as well. Your words will get to him. Leave his father to me, Auntie will concentrate on him. In short, let’s both work hard!”

“Yes Auntie, I definitely won’t disappoint you.”

[info title="Info message" icon="info-circle"]*Meng Jian Zhi - Aunt Zou’s ex-husband, who made an appearance earlier in the novel[/info]

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