Confused in Love Four (Part 6)

By: Akhi Ryu Go

The Art of Letting Go

Akhi: Get off me you perve!

Akhi yelled at the guy who's on top of him and accidentally touching his crotch dahil sa pagkakabangga nila.

Gab: Sorry! Hindi ko sinasadya. Pasensya na may iniisip kase ako.

Akhi: Well next time tumingin ka sa dinadaanan mo! Hindi yung kung saan saan lumilipad yang utak mo!

Gab: Sorry talaga.

Pinupulot nila ang kanilang mga libro. When they stood up, Akhi dust himself off while Gab remained standing in front of him.

Gab: Again, I'm so sorry.

Akhi: Puro ka sorry. Wala namang magagawa ang so......

Nang makita ni Akhi ang nakabanggaan nya, sya ay napatulala. Napakagwapong lalaki.

Gab: Alam ko. But I hope you forgive me.

Akhi: Aaa.a.mmmm eh ah.. Ka.. Ano.. Am...

Gab: Ha? Hindi kita maintindihan.

Akhi: I mean I'm sorry din if I'm too rude.

Gab: Ayos lang kasalanan ko naman eh. Ako dapat nagsosorry.

Akhi: Just forget about it.

Gab: I'm Francisco Gabriel Martinez, Gab for short. Senior High.

Akhi: Nice to meet you Gab. I'm Matthew Akhi Ortega. Akhi for short. Grade 10.

Gab: Nice to meet you too Akhi. If you don't mind me asking, Bakit Akhi?

Akhi: Well, my dad's nickname is Aki without the H and my mom's Khim. So they mixed it up and then came up with the name. Is it strange?

Gab: No. I like it. Akhi... Sarap bigkasin.

May hint na kaagad si Gab na bading si Akhi. Akhi blushed upon hearing that. He was about to talk again when Gab spoke

Gab: Sige Akhi. I guess I'll see you around? Bye.

Before he could ask for his number, Gab came running off like he was in a hurry.

Akhi: Oh gosh I didn't even get his number. *sigh*

Akhi was startled when Celine nudged him and asked

Rocel: huy?! Ano't nagbubuntong hininga ka jan?

Cherry: Oh my gosh Ross, I think he's in love.

Akhi: Bakla, ba't mo alam? Manghuhula ka ba?

Cherry: Uh! Hello?! We just saw you talking to the handsome honor student. We saw your reaction nung makita mo mukha nya.

Akhi: Well may maitatago ba naman ako sa'yo? Kilalang kilala mo na ako eh.

Rocel: That's why we're besties y'know.

Cherry: In fairness may chemistry kayong dalawa.

Akhi: You think so?

Rocel: Reminder lang, nasa exclusive na private school tayo. He managed to get in here dahil sa scholarship. Mahirap pa sa daga ang family ng lalaking yon so you can stop dreaming of him.

Cherry: That's too rude Rocel!

Rocel: Well I'm concerned lang naman. Besides, hindi magugustuhan ng mga ate ni Akhi kapag naging sila and probably magsusumbong yun sa parents nila. Do you want that to happen? No! So don't argue with me.

Akhi: Napaka advance ha? Hindi ko nga nakuha yung number tapos magiging kami pa?

Rocel: Asa ka namang may celphone yun.

Cherry: Okay Rocel that's too much! Oras na para lagyan ng tape ang bibig mo. Tara na nga lang and we should have lunch now.

Habang papunta sa cafeteria ay hindi parin mawala sa isip ni Akhi si Gab. He wondered if their paths would ever cross again.

It was past sunset when Gab came home. Dahil naglalakad lang sya araw araw from home and going to school. Magsasaka ang kanyang amang si Gideon at may malubhang karamdaman naman ang kanyang inang si Celine. Ang tanging nagpapaliwanag lamang sa kanilang tahanan tuwing gabi ay isang bumbilya. Subsob parati sa pag aaral si Gab at kapag walang assignments and projects tumutulong sya sa tatay nya na mag araro.

Kinabukasan sa skwelahan, maagang pumasok si Akhi at nag aabang sa gate ng kanilang school hoping to see Gab. Lumipas ang ilang oras marami nang students ang pumasok at sya ay nasa gate parin.

Guard: Oh? Bakit nandyan ka pa sir Akhi? Male-late ka na for first period.

Akhi: Saglit nalang po. May inaabangan lang ako.

Maya maya pa, dumating na si Gab. Humahangos. Pagpasok nya, nakita nya si Akhi na nakatayo sa gate.

Gab: *huff* Hi Akhi. What are you doing here? Alam ko start na ng first period 30 minutes ago?

He frowned at Gab for a moment then sighed and smiled.

Akhi: Well, I don't know but I wanted to see you again but you didn't even give me your number. So I waited for you.

Isinandal ni Gab ang kanyang kamay sa gate at tumayong tuwid na para bang nang aakit.

Gab: Oh, hehe, and why would you do that? *wink*

Akhi: *blush* Well, um.. I'm gonna be straight forward. I'm gay okay? In case you didn't notice and I like you.

Lumapit sya bigla kay Akhi and he's just an inch away from his face and he spoke in a sexy voice

Gab: am I that irresistible?

Napalunok si Akhi sa ginawa ni Gab.

Akhi: Well now that you know it I guess I'm entitled to voice myself out. Naiinis ako kase ang tagal mong dumating. I am late for first period dahil lang sa'yo.

Gab didn't answer. Umupo nalang sya at humawak sa kanyang noo and rested. Tinabihan sya ni Akhi but he wasn't looking at him.

Gab: Kinailangan ko kaseng bumili ng gamot ni nanay kanina. Eh malayo ang pharmacy samin. Tumakbo na nga ako eh para di ma late pero heto, late parin.

Akhi: Well perhaps mag taxi or gosh even tricycle?

Gab: Hahaha. You rich people. You don't have any idea about the struggles people like me have to face every single day of our lives.

Akhi: I didn't mean to offe...

Gab: Don't bother. I'm not offended anyway. Tanggap ko naman na ganito ang buhay. Hindi lahat priveleged. So if I wanna be better than I am now, then I should do better. Kaya nga nag aaral akong mabuti.

Akhi: *sigh* I wish I was like you. Driven with so much determination and motivation.

Gab: Kamusta ba Grades mo?

Akhi: Well.... Haaayy... I don't give much effort in my studies so you could imagine what that means for me.

Napa iling iling si Gab.

Akhi: If you're so smart then why don't you tutor me?

Gab: Gusto ko man eh masyado akong busy.

Akhi: Busy? What could you possibly be busy with other than studying? You don't have much peers... You didn't join any clubs.

Gab: *sigh* Babe, I don't have to tell you everything.

Akhi: *blush blush some more* Did you just call me babe?

Gab: Hahaha. Just teasin' you. Ligawan mo muna ako.

Akhi: At bakit ako?!

Gab: Well you're the gay guy... Hahaha

Akhi: That's offensive ha!

Gab: You're the one who said it. Besides, hindi lang naman ikaw ang prangka dito.

Akhi: haay naku! Well anyway sige na e tutor mo na ako. I'll pay you for every session. Let's say 500 per session.

Gab: Ha?! 500?

Akhi: Ba't parang gulat na gulat ka? Ang liit na halaga lang nun.

Gab: *sigh* I forgot who I was talking to. *murmurs* Typical rich kid.

Akhi heard that so he murmured back

Akhi: Flirty at paasang boy tease.

Gab: Anung sabi mo?

Akhi: Wala! So anu na? Pumapayag ka na ba?

Gab: Well if you insist. I guess gustong gusto mo talaga akong makasama.

Akhi: Hmmmp!

Then he looked away. Maya maya pa

Gab: So ano? Uupo nalang tayo dito? Hindi na ba tayo papasok?

Akhi: wait! Before you go, give me your number!

Gab: Frustrating as it is, I don't have the luxury of having a handphone.

Biglang nagkalkal ng bag si Akhi.

Akhi: Here! Use my spare phone. If you're gonna be my tutor we've gotta stay in touch.

Gab hesitated. Ayaw nyang parang binibigyan sya ng limos ng ibang tao. But then again may point si Akhi so he accepted.

Akhi: Well then we should be off to class. See you later Gab.

Gab: Sure Akhi.

Ever since then palagi nang nagkikita ang dalawa for their tutoring session. Sabay silang nag lulunch break at hindi nanga sumasama si Akhi sa kanyang mga besties mag lunch. Napapansin na ito ng kanyang mga ateng si Lyssa at si Audrey. Months have passed and their routine never changed. Isang hapon sa CR ng mga lalaki, Gab was being bullied by other guys from the school. There was 3 of them at hinahamak nila si Gab. Tinutulak tulak nila ito at dinuduro duro.

Mackhoy: T*ngina ano? Fight us honor student. Hahaha

Andrew: What's the matter? Afraid of losing your scholarship because you can't really afford to be in this school?

Aaron: Oi pare tingnan mo o? Hahha Yung bag nya tahi tahi. Hahaha

Hindi sila nilalabanan ni Gab. He's afraid of expulsion. Wala syang magawa kundi tanggapin ang ginagawa sa kanya ng mga schoolmates nyang matapobre.

Nagalit si Akhi at pumasok at pinagtanggol si Gab.

Akhi: Hey you stupid good for nothing scumbags! Stop bullying Gab! Wala syang ginagawang masama sa inyo!

Aaron: Oh who's this? Hahaha you're boyfriend?

Akhi: I'm his friend and I won't stand for this! He got in this school fair and square! Why don't you just leave him alone?

Mackhoy: Hoy bakla! Wag kang nakikialam dito ha!

Andrew: What you gonna do huh?

Akhi: Mas bakla kayo. Tatlo kayo binubully nyo nag iisa lang. My gosh nakakahiya.

Aaron: Tarantado to ah?!

Akmang susuntukin ni Aaron si Akhi ng biglang hinawakan ni Gab ang kamay ni Aaron.

Gab: Saktan at pahiyain nyo na ako... Wag lang si Akhi. Wag nyo syang idadamay!!!

At nagsuntukan na nga sila. Pinagtulungan nila si Gab pero sanay din sa basag ulo si Gab kaya naman hindi umubra ang tatlo. Bugbog sarado sila kaya't nagsi-alis na ang mga ito. Then Gab locked the door para hindi na muna makabalik ang mga ito.

Akhi: Gab! Are you okay?! You shouldn't have done that! Ayos lang ako kahit gawin nila yon! Dumudugo ang labi mo at may pasa ka pa! Bakit mo ginawa yun?! You didn't have to do that. What if you get expelled?

Tinitigan ni Gab ng masama si Akhi. Then bigla syang lumapit dito and he kissed him so hard. Nung una nanlaban si Akhi dala ng pagkabigla pero bumigay din sya dahil matagal nya nang inaasam na mahalikan si Gab. When they break from the kiss, Gab spoke

Gab: *Breathing heavily* I guess now you know what this means...

Akhi: Gab... I....

Hinawakan sya ni Gab sa magkabilang pisngi at tinitigan sa mata.

Gab: Do you love me?

Tinitigan munang mabuti ni Akhi si Gab bago ito sumagot.

Akhi: Of course I love you. *blush* From the very first time I saw you, I instantly fell in love with you.

Gab: Kiss me. I wanna feel it. Kiss me like you mean it.

Then they kissed again. Slowly and passionately. Every second was filled with so much love and desire.

When they got out after class Akhi decided to follow Gab home since they're now a couple. He wanted to know what kind of life Gab is living in. Hindi man sya sanay ay sinamahan nyang maglakad si Gab pauwi because Gab refuses to ride on a taxi. Magdidilim na nang makarating sila sa bahay.

Gab: Mano po tay. Kaibigan ko nga po pala si Akhi. Dito daw po sana sya maghahapunan.

Akhi: Magandang gabi po sa inyo.

Gideon: Pagpasensyahan mo na ang bahay namin iho ha? Sana ay maging komportable ka. Ako'y magkakatay lang ng manok sandali upang maihanda sa hapunan.

Akhi: Maraming salamat po.

Sunod ay pumasok naman sila sa silid ng kanyang ina.

Gab: Nay mano po. Mabuti na po ba an pakiramdam ninyo?

Celine: Mabuti buti naman na anak. Salamat sa gamot ha? Hayaan mo't pag ako'y gumaling ay tutulungan na kita ulit sa mga gawaing bahay. Pagpasensyahan mo na si nanay.

Dalawang taon nang bedridden ang nanay ni Gab. When he saw that, Akhi felt so much pity for Gab.

Gab: Nay, andito nga pala kaibigan ko nay si Akhi po.

Celine: Iho Gab, ikuha mo muna si nanay ng maiinom ha?

Gab: Sige po nay. Sandali lang Akhi ha? Pakitingnan muna si nanay.

Nakita ni nanay Celine kung paano magtinginan ang dalawa. Naramdaman narin nya kung anong namamagitan sa kanila. Malakas ang kanyang pangdama pagdating sa kanyang anak.

Celine: Iho Akhi, maari bang tumabi ka sa akin at ako'y may sasabihin sa iyo.

Akhi: Sige po. Anu po iyon?

Celine: Mabait na bata yang si Gab. Maalalahanin at mapagmahal. Sana ay wag kang lilisan sa kanyang tabi.

Akhi is perplexed. He's so sure that no one ever told Gab's mom about them since ngayong araw lang naman naging sila. Ganun pa man, he just nodded in agreement and stayed in her side until Gab comes back.

At Akhi's home, alalang alala na ang daddy nyang si Harold at mommy nyang si Grace dahil gabing gabi na at hindi man lang nag paalam sa kanila ang kanilang anak na lalaki.

Grace: He never stayed outside this late before. Harold I'm so worried about our son.

Harold: Pag uwi ng batang yan malilintikan sakin yan.

Lyssa: Dad, I think sumama sya don sa mahirap na honor student sa school. I think the name's Gab?

Audrey: Yes! They're pretty close. I hate to break it down to you, but I think he's dating this guy.

Harold: Pasaway talaga ang batang yan! I can tolerate that he's a homosexual pero magboyfriend?! That's too much and hindi rin sya sumunod sa curfew.

Lyssa: Dad, we informed you not to make you angry but only to make you aware of the situation so don't be too hard on Akhi.

Audrey: Please don't hurt him.

Harold: Kailan ko ba kayo pinagbuhatan ng kamay? I know exactly the kind of punishment that I'm gonna do na siguradong matututo sya.

Matapos maghapunan ni Akhi ay nagpaalam na sya sa pamilya ni Gab. Nang makalayo sila sa bahay at dumako sa isang madilim na eskenita, they kissed one more time and they were also feeling up each other with their hands but before it leads to anything sexual they restrained themselves at pinasakay na ni Gab si Akhi.

Pagkauwi ni Akhi, Naka abang sa gate ang kanyang daddy. Napagalitan sya ng husto. Then inilatag na ng daddy nya ang consequences ng kanyang ginawa.

Harold: I'm going to confiscate your phones and araw araw kang babantayan ng mga ate mo.

Lyssa & Audrey: Dad?!

Harold: Wag kayong mag reklamo! At ikaw bata ka, hindi ka na makikipag kita sa lalaking yon maliwanag ba?!

Akhi: *crying* I'm sorry dad.

Kinabukasan, nakita ni Gab na kasama ni Akhi ang mga ate nya. Tinawag nya ito ngunit hindi sya pinansin ng mga ito. So he just continued walking but on the way to class, one of the teachers stopped him and escorted him to the principal's office. Turns out, the bullies complained about him and then the inevitable happened. He is now expelled because the bullies parents are furious and they wanted him out of the school. There was nothing he could do about it so he just cried and stepped out of the school but before he did, he took one last look at the school and watched his dreams died down. Nagkaron sya ng matinding desire na makausap si Akhi. To find comfort in him but he couldn't find him. So instead he just went home. He kept on texting Akhi but there was no reply. He felt like everything, including Akhi, has abandoned him. A month later, Gab's mom died. There was still no signs of Akhi, and Gab is out of school until the next school year. Few weeks after that, habang naglalakad si Gab, binalikan sya ng mga nang bully sa kanya at may dala dala pang mga barkada. He was beated down until he got unconscious. Buti nalang, may magandang loob na sumagip sa kanya at dinala sya sa hospital. It was a woman named Donya Sarah. Gab is now in the hospital and all the bills are paid by her. Dali daling nagpunta sa hospital si Akhi upang kamustahin si Gab. Pagpasok nya sa kwarto, walang malay si Gab.

Akhi: Gab I'm so sorry! Huhuhu...

Then suddenly, nagtaka sya. Why does this feel so familiar? Bakit parang nakikita nya lahat nang nangyayari sa buhay ni Gab? Then Gab spoke.

Gab: Because none of this is real.

Gab answered the questions in my mind as if I've spoken them.

Gab: Everything here is your imagination Akhi. You narrate the story. I help create this world for you.

Suddenly, nakatayo na sya sa likod ko.

Gab: You see... No matter how much we try, the story just goes the same way. We get hurt, and separated.

Akhi: Gab, why are you doing this?

Gab: Akhi, I would never hurt you. This is our fate. It's being shown to you in different forms by your unconscious mind. This is neither of our control.

Akhi: I don't know what to say... It hurts so much... I can't let go... Never...

Gab: You have to... Do it for me... Please Akhi...

Akhi: Gab... *crying* this is so unfair... Huhuhu

Gab: You have to let me go my love...

.

.

.

I woke up with so much tears in my eyes.

Akhi: Gab, I'm so sorry. I just can't do what you're asking me to do.

Rocel: Akhi gising ka na pala. Bakit nagsasalita kang mag isa jan?

I just sighed an looked at her.

Rocel: Let me guess... You dreamed about him again right?

Then once again tears started flowing from my eyes. She sighed and sat beside my bed.

Rocel: Did he ask you to let go again?

Akhi: He did.

I shut my eyes tightly and cried enough to let Rocel know that my answer is I'm not ready to do that.

Rocel: Akhi, hindi ko mahihingi sa'yo na pagbigyan ang kahilingan nya because I know it still hurts so much.

She rubbed my back to comfort me.

Rocel: well at least we should have breakfast now. Come with me. Nagluto si Gideon ng favorite mo.

Akhi: Susunod na ako Ross just let me get my mind straight.

Rocel: Okay Akhi.

As she left, I took the picture frame with a photo of me and Gab and I hug it tightly. I know it's so selfish of me but I am not ready. Maybe someday Gab... But not now... Not when my heart is still wounded... Not when I am still longing for you... But I hope someday... Someday I will...

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