By: Yarn "Ganon talaga minsan, Vee. Dalawa lang naman yung rason kung bakit dumarating yung isang tao sa buhay mo; minsan para manat...
By: Yarn
"Ganon talaga minsan, Vee. Dalawa lang naman yung rason kung bakit dumarating yung isang tao sa buhay mo; minsan para manatili sa tabi mo, minsan para mag-iwan lang ng mga ala-ala."
"Eh ano ka sa dalawang yun, Marky?"
"Syempre ako yung mamamalagi sa piling mo."
*bzzzzt* *bzzzt*
Nagising ako sa lakas ng vibrate ng phone ko. Nagchachat na pala yung ibang freshmen at yung isang senior sa bagong group chat namin.
*Good morning, freshies! Let's all meet in front of St. Augustine Building at 9am so we can start our campus tour. See you! -Ate Claire*
*Okay po*
*Sige Ate*
*Noted Ate Claire*
I feel out of place. Parang ready na lahat magstart ng term yung mga freshmen. And here I am wondering if I can even survive in this university. It's too easy to say that I'll get out of my comfort zone pero mas mahirap siyang gawin.
Bumangon na ko sa kama para makapagsimula na akong gumayak. Hinalungkat ko yung mga supplies na binili ni Mama. I fished out an instant noodles and a 3-in1 coffee. Hinabilinan ako ni Mama na magluto ng proper meals but I'm not in the mood to cook.
Napasilip ako sa bintana ng kwarto ko. Tanaw yung malaking lupa ng university. Mayroong magkakatabing open courts ng basketball, volleyball, tennis at iba pa. I also noticed how the entire campus preserves mother nature dahil kahit saan ako lumingon, wide varieties of green plants and trees are ready to greet my eyes.
Napaisip ako kung sa iisang building lang ba lahat ng magiging classes ko. It must be tiring to run to every building para lang hindi ako malate sa classes ko. Kung titingnan kasi dito sa bintana, sobrang daming structures, either small or big, na pumapalitbot dito sa dorm. I guess I’ll find answers mamaya sa campus tour, hopefully.
Naligo na rin ako pagkatapos kumain then I comfortably walked out of the bathroom nang nakatapi lang ng twalya. Wala pa naman yung dormmate ko kaya oks pa.
Speaking of my dormmate, kailan kaya yun dadating? All freshmen were advised to attend the tour since ilang days lang naman yung pagitan nito before the term officially starts. Pinilit na ako nila Mama na magstay dito sa dorm para 'di daw ako manibago at makapag-adjust na para pag nagstart na yung klase hindi na hassle sa akin.
Nagbihis na ako and I'm still 20 minutes early. Well, I wanna start my college life with good things kaya magpapaka-early bird na ako sa campus tour.
I packed my drawstring bag with a pen and notebook and decided I was good to go. I prayed a silent prayer then kinuha ko yung susi and I headed to the meeting place.
It was a fun activity overall. Marami naman akong na-meet and the people varied from overly-excited ones to a number of shy and introverted teenagers. Me? I think I'm in between. I'm not the one who stands out but not also the one who is unnoticeable. Kung sa personality, ambivert kumbaga.
Tulad ng sabi-sabi, marami ka ngang mabubuong expecrations once you've thoroughly seen the university. It is the kind of place where you want to achieve your degree. I am blessed indeed to be accepted in here, considering my average mental capabilities.
Naglakad na ako pabalik ng dorm pagkatapos ko magmuni-muni. Dahil free naman ak buong maghapon, aayusin ko na lang yung mga gamit at supplies ko na kinalimutan ko pansamantala dahil sa pagod ko sa biyahe noong isang araw.
I casually entered my room and closed the door behind me. I noticed that there were bags already on the other bed opposite of mine. I guess my dormmate arrived fashionably late.
Bumukas yung pinto ng cr habang kumakanta siya papalabas at naka boxer shorts lang. His music and voice were too loud kaya siguro hindi ako narinig pumasok.
"Ehem", malakas na pag-ubo ko.
I saw his body twitch na ikinangisi ko. He immediately turned backwards and waved at me habang natatawa.
"You're already here!", pagbati niya sakin.
Hindi ba ako dapat yung nagsasabi sa kanya nito ngayon dahil late siya?
"Ba't ngayon ka lang? Tapos na yung campus tour natin."
"I'm David and what's with the rush? We'll stay here four to five years. Baka magsawa ka agad s lagay na 'yan." Aniya habang inaabot yung kanang kamay niya para makipagkamay
"Marcus." Sabi ko habang nakikipagkamay sa kanya.
"So, what would you like to do? We have the rest of the day for ourselves."
"Siguro magbihis ka muna 'no? O balak mong ibalandra yung katawan mo sakin buong maghapon?"
Natawa siya sa sagot ko kaya nagflex siya ng katawan habang naghahanap ng damit sa bag niya. Nagsuot lang siya ng tank top at walking shorts na para bang nasa bahay lang siya.
“Hoy ‘di mo pa sinasagot yung tanong ko.”
“Ano ba ‘yon?” Kung makahoy ‘tong mokong na ‘to. Ngayon pa lang naman kami nagkakilala.
“Ano nga balak mong gawin? Enjoyin na natin ‘tong free time hangga’t ‘di pa nagsisimula yung sem.”
“I don’t have any plans for today. Mag-aayos lang ako ng gamit ko. You might as well do the same.”
“I can’t believe I’m stuck with you. Come on here, you dork!”
Nakaharap ako sa sandamukal kong mga bag nang bigla niya kong buhatin papalabas ng room namin.
“NOOO! DAVID WAG!” Sigaw ko habang nagpupumiglas but no to avail. Ti-nake advantage niya talaga yung lakas niya para buhatin ako papalabas.
“Ahhh! There you go.” Buntong hininga niya pagkatapos niya kong ibaba.
Wala na rin akong nagawa dahil ni-lock na niya yung pinto ng room naming at nasa loob pa ng room yung sarili kong susi.
Ano kaya pumasok sa loob ng mokong na ‘to at nag-aaya gumala. Tumatawa lang siya pag tinitingnan ako pero sinusuklian ko ng poker face.
“You know what? We should wander around the campus so we can be familiar with it.” Pag-aaya niya sakin.
“Says the guy who didn’t bother to attend the campus tour earlier.” Pabara kong sagot.
“They’ve been doing the campus tour ever since. It became so common and it takes the whole fun out of it.”
“Pano mo naman nasabi?”
“Nag-enjoy ka ba kanina?”
“Oo naman. Ang judgemental mo.”
“Then you’re just like everybody else. Isa ka sa kanila na nakikisama lang sa agos. You’re just doing what you’re doing because that’s what everybody told you.”
“How does the enjoyment of the tour even affect how I live my life?”
“Because you’re just accepting what you’ve been offered. It’s not like you don’t have a choice, you know.”
“What choice?”
“To widen your horizons. The senior surely gave you some info, but do you think what they gave you is all that there’s to it? You can discover more, Marcus.”
I’m starting to get irritated to this guy already. He’s going overboard with the campus tour thingy and now he’s dictating how I live my life.
But somehow, he’s not that wrong.
How can he even see past through me?
Natahimik ako sa sinabi niya. Baka nga kasi totoo.
Nagpatuloy lang ako sa paglalakad. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ko pa siya sinusundan pero ginawa ko na lang.
“Huy. Ba’t nanahimik ka.” Tanong niya habang sinusuntok ako ng mahina sa balikat ko.
“What if I am just like anybody else?” Seryoso kong sabi sa kanya. “What if I just followed everybody’s words since the beginning and lost sight of my path ever since?”
“Then I’ll just lead you back to your path.”
Alam niyo yung mga moment sa drama na biglang may papasok na dramatic background music ‘tas biglang magslo-slow motion lahat? Isipin niyo na lang ganito ‘yun. Pero let’s be real. Huminto lang ako sa paglalakad ‘tas tiningnan ko siya ng derecho sa mata.
“Kikiligin na ba ‘ko? Look who’s talking big. Gamit mo nga ‘di mo maayos.” Then I started walking again hanggang sa malampasan ko na siya. Naririnig ko siyang ngumingisi sa likod peo ‘di ko pinansin.
“You dork!” Pabiro niyang sabi habang inaakbayan ako. “Tara punta tayo sa building na ‘yun.”
We visited buildings just like I had visited them with the freshies earlier. The difference is, I’m not spoonfed with practiced speech and common infos. David and I sneakily entered buildings like a pair grade schoolers forbidden to wander alone without their teachers.
hindi lang kami yung freshies na nag-enroll sa university.
Kadalasang nauuna si David sa paglalakad kaya hindi ko maiwasan mapansin yung likuran niya.
“What’s with you gym enthusiasts being addicted to tank tops? Gustong gusto ring ipagmalaki yung mga katawan niyo eh.” Pang-iinis ko sa kanya.
“Well, we definitely have the bragging rights.” Pagmamalaki niya habang tumatawa.
Dati ko pa gustong magwork out sa mga gym. Pero lagi akong occupied sa schoolworls o kung may oras naman, pera ang absent. Sinubukan ko na lang maglift ng weights sa bahay pero pinagsawaan ko din.
Lagi akong tinatamad kaya saludo talaga sa mga dedicated gym enthusiasts.
Sa sobrang lalim ng pag-iisip ko, hindi ko napansin na huminto na pala siya at nabunggo yung mukha ko sa likuran niya.
“Ayan kasi kakatitig mo sa likod ko.” Pang-iinis ni David.
“Kapal mo!” Sagot ko. “Bakit ka ba huminto?”
“Aba hinihintay kita. Bagal mo kaya maglakad.”
Then I’ve felt this weird feeling again. I feel safe, somehow.
I lost count of the buildings visited. Or more like trespassed. Doble rin yung pagod ko dahil pangalawang beses ko na iniikot yung buong campus. . Lagpas 400 hectares yung laki ng campus kaya ganito na lang yung pagod ko.
“Hey, let’s go find a place to eat. My treat!” He said with a smiling face.
“Dapat lang!” Hingal kong sagot habang nakahawak sa tuhod ko.
Lumakad na kami papalabas sa isang gate ng university na sakto ay malapit din sa plaza na maraming makakainan.
Tirik na tirik na yung araw dahil lagpas ala una ng tanghali. Mahapdi na sa balat yung init kaya sumisilong na ako sa likod ni David para hindi ako mainitan. Malaking tulong din pala yung katangkaran niya sa mga sitwasyong ganito.
"Anong ginagawa mo?" Tanong niya sa akin. Napansin niya ata na sumisilong ako sa anino niya
"Wala." Tumayo ako ng derecho pero yumuko ulit ako sa likod niya nang lumingon na siya sa harap.
Unti-unting bumibilis yung lakad niya kaya hinahabol ko siya habang nakayuko ako sa likod niya.
Then suddenly, he grabbed me as if I'm his gym bag and wrapped me around his giant arms.
I immeadiately threw him a sharp look.
"Oh, mainit 'diba? Sumilong ka sa'kin."
Sinibukan kong magpumiglas pero walang nagbago. Pumikit na lang ako sa hiya dahil baka may mga nakakita sa amin.
He immediately searched he plaza where we can get food but my appetite was already gone. Nalipasan na ata ako ng gutom.
Inakbayan niya ako sa balikat saka hinatak papunta sa isang grilling place.
"Hey. You up for some Korean food?" Tanong niya.
"I'm not really hu—"
"Taraaaa!" Hatak niya sa akin.
I swear my arms would snap off any moment from now.
Bumati sa'min ni David yung amoy ng Samgyeopsal pagpasok pa lang ng resto. Maganda yung ambiance dagdagan mo pa ng mababait na crew. Maybe I'm hungry after all.
David immeadiately scanned the menu after we've been seated. Inikot ko ulit yung mata ko sa bawat sulok ng place.
Bricked walled, high ceiling na may interconnected exhaust sa bawat table, sofa-like seats, walls with aesthetic photos of korean menu, not bad. Although the type of place na hindi ko madalas kainan.
Nakalingon pa ko sa kanan nang biglang pinisil ni David yung pisngi at hinatak para iharap yung mukha ko sa kanya.
"Huy, ano gusto mong orderin? Hindi mo makakain yung interior nila dito." Pang-iinis na naman niya.
"Your choice. 'Di naman ako maselan."
"There you go again. Letting an opportunity go to waste."
"There you go again. Making a fuss out of nothing." Sagot ko sa kanya.
He just rolled his eyes in response.
Tinawag niya na yung waitress at umorder ng sandamukal na pagkain. Sa sobrang dami ng inorder niya, tinanong kami ng waitress kung gusto namin magpalipat sa mas malaking table para daw hindi masikip pag dumating na yung mga kasama namin.
I am now covering my face with my palm. Every scene with this guy somehow becomes awkward. Yes, awkward; but fun.
‘Di nagtagal isa isa nang dinadala yung mga order namin sa table. Actually, yung mga order ni David. May pork belly, various side dishes, Bibimbap, Gimbab, Japchae pati na Bulgogi saka Jeon.
“Burgis.” Bulong ko sa sarili ko.
“What?” Tanong niya.
“Wala.” Sagot ko naman.
I said grace before our meal and volunteered to grill the meat. On the other hand, he eyed every plate, probably choosing what to eat first.
Now that we’re facing each other on the table, I got to see his face clearly for the first time. Singkit na mga mata, maputing balat, maninipis na labi. In short, chinito. Kung ikukumpara yung itsura niya sa ibang tao, kahawig niya sa Jung Hae In. (Worth searching siya guys. ‘Di kayo magsisisi.)
“Marcus!” Tawag niya sakin habang hinahampas ako ng chopsticks sa ulo. “Huy! Ba’t titig na titig ka sa’kin? Wag mong sabihing crush mo na ako?” Sabi niya na may pang-iinis na tono ng boses.
“Kapal mo.” Pabalang kong sagot habang inagaw ko sa kamay niya yung chopsticks.
“Are you usually this silent? Pa’no ka magkakaron ng kaibigan dito kung hindi ka magsasalita.” Medyo puffy yung pagsasalita niya dahil puno yung bibig niya ng pagkain.
Hindi ako sumagot; hindi dahil ayaw ko pero wala lang talaga akong maisagot sa tanong niya na ‘yon.
“You know what, you remind me of my childhood friend. He’s just like you; awkward and silent. And you being neutral and always dragged by the normal flow of things makes him stuck on my mind.”
“Nasa’n na siya ngayon?” Tanong ko habang binibaligtad ko isa-isa yung pork belly.
“Matagal na siyang umalis sa lugar namin eh.”
“Nasa’n na siya ngayon?”
“Umalis na nga. Kulit nito.”
“I mean, nasa’n na siya ngayon? Like right now?”
“I dunno. He didn’t go back since he left.” Malumbay niyang sagot habang nakatingin sa labas.
Hindi ko ulit alam isasagot ko. This is one of my weaknesses. I don’t know how to comfort a person pag kinakailangan. Sarili ko nga ‘di ko alam kung pa’no ko ihahandle, ibang tao pa kaya?
“Maybe he has a reason, don’t you think?” I responded while dipping the meat in gochujang sauce and wrapping it in a piece of lettuce leaf.
“Of course he has a reason. Nabobother lang ako dahil since then hindi man lang siya nag-effort na bumalik.”
Pinapapak ko na yung Gimbab habang iniisip kung ano yung isasagot ko sa kanya.
“You can’t really say that he didn’t exerted effort. You can’t judge a person until you’ve set foot in his shoes.”
Kumuha ako ng isang Jeon gamit yung chopsticks ko ‘tas nilapit ko sa bibig niya.
“Say aaah!” Pag-aalok ko sa kanya na para bang five years old siya.
Nagpout siya sa akin ‘tas nakangangang inilapit yung bibig niya sa chopsticks ko.
Bago pa man niya masubo yung Jeon, binawi ko yung chopsticks. Kinain ko yung isang piraso at binigyan ko siya na malaking mapang-inis na ngiti.
Napanganga siya sa ginawa ko at nagpout sa akin. Cute.
“Have a taste of your own medicine.” Sabi ko sa kanya habang tumatawa.
“Sanay ka palang tumawa ‘no?”
“Of course I do.” Inirapan ko siya.
“How ‘bout you? What’s your story?” Daldal niya sakin habang kumukuha siya ng kimchi.
“Story? I don’t have any. I’m just a typical teenager.”
“Everybody has one, for sure.”
“No, everyone doesn’t.” Tanggi ko. Gumamit na ako ng tinidor dahil madulas yung japchae para sa chopsticks lalo na’t gawa sa bakal.
“Maybe you’re just avoiding it since you regret remembering it.”
Napatigil ako sa pagnguya ko. I swear he’s really seeing through me. Baka galing siya sa pamilya ng manghuhula sa probinsiya? Malabo. A guy with this looks isn’t probably some kind of wizard.
“You don’t lie well. I can see you blink every time you don’t say the truth.”
“Hindi kaya.” *blink*
“Ayan oh.”
“Hindi ah.” Sabay lingon sa gilid.
He leaned on the table, and grabbed my cheeks para iharap yung mukha ko sa kanya. Nilapit niya yung mukha niya sa akin at stared me dead in the eyes. Kakaunting inches na lang magkakadikit na yung mukha namin.
Out of reflex, hinampas ko yung mukha niya gamit yung kaliwang kamay ko.
“Ouch!” Sigaw niya na ikinatingin ng ibang staff at customers. Tiningnan ko siya ng masama dahil nagging center of attention kami sa resto.
“That was uncalled for!” Sigaw ko sa kanya na at the same time pabulong.
“Why? Kala mo ba hahalikan kita? Assuming ka masyado. I was just looking if you’d blink.” Sagot niya habang hinihimas yung mukha niya. Napalakas ata yung hampas ko sa kanya.
“Oo na. I lied, you psycho.”
“See? Now let me hear your story.” Himutok niya habang nag-iihaw ng bagong batch ng pork belly.
“Well, I just lived my life depending on whatever my parents wanted me to do. Kung saan ako mag-aaral, where I’ll spend my vacation, kung anong kukunin kong course pagdating ng college. Baka sila na nga rin yung manligaw sa makakapasalan ko eh.” I joked.
“Didn’t you try saying what you wanted?”
“No. Not that I’m scared though. It’s just that I don’t know what decision I should choose. I didn’t know what to wear in proms. I didn’t know what sport I should choose in PE. I can’t seem to pick between countless superheroes. I don’t —“
“You don’t know what type of food you like.” Sabat niya sa akin. “No wonder why you don’t know how to enjoy things.”
“Sakit mo magsalita ah! Close ba tayo?”
“Korean. You like Korean food. Sa susunod na may magtanong sa’yo kung anong cuisine paborito mo, tell them korean.”
And now he’s bossing me around.
I’m like playing get-to-know-me in grade school. Pero sarili ko yung kinkilala ko. How weird.
“You know what Marcus, we are all unique. We gotta make a move and make the world rotate to our advantages, make it our home and grasp our happiness.” Seryoso niyang sabi sa akin. Sometimes, people like David makes me wonder how some teenagers manage to think way more mature beyond their age.
He’s giving me another lecture. I’m slowly growing tired of it. Not that I hate receiving constructive criticisms but I feel indebted to the people who care about me; that I should be able to pay them back, somehow.
“Then why did you let your friend go? You said we had choices. But you chose to let him leave.”
Natahimik siya sa sinabi ko. I immediately wanted to take the words back into my mouth. His angelic, smiling face which I thought would never fade managed to frown.
“Uhmm. Look. Sorry.” Mahina kong sabi. “I didn’t mean to offend you.”
“No. You’re right. That’s purely my fault. I regretted being a coward back then. That’s why I’m changing myself for the better.” He said while keeping a sad smile.
Wow, self. You’re a total disaster today.
The awkward silence which I thought would last an eternity was broken by his gasp of surprise.
“Oh, shoot!” He exclaimed.
“Bakit?”
“Nakalimutan ko yung wallet ko sa dorm.”
All I could pull off this moment is a poker face. I could be shocked right now but seeing how this day went, this should be expected.
While he’s in deep thought to solve the ongoing conundrum, inabot ko yung wallet ko sa kanya.
“Here you go.” I said while I intentionally rolled my eyes. “Ikaw na magbayad so it’ll look like na tinreat mo ko atleast.”
“No, I’ll pay you back once we arrive at our room.” Tanggi niya naman.
Good thing is that I kept a fair amount of savings last vacation. Kung nagbulakbol lang ako these past two months, malamang nag-uurong na kaming dalawa sa likod ng restaurant ngayon.
Hindi na ako nakipagtalo sa pagbabayad niya sa akin. Hindi ko naman talaga tatanggapin dahil marami na siyang pabor na ginawa para sa’kin.
We started to walk back in silence to our dorm. Siguro aabutin din kami ng twenty minutes dahil nasa kabilang dulo pa ng campus yung room namin.
We reached a park where he stopped walking and gazed around.
“Ba’t ka huminto?” Tanong ko sa kanya.
“Pahinga muna tayo dito.”
“Napapagod ka din pala.” Pang-iinis ko sa kanya.
Tiningnan lang niya ako at tumawa ng mahina. I guess I really hit him in his Achilles’ heel.
We freely sat in the grasses, not minding whether there was a sign forbidding people to refrain from stepping on them.
Napansin ko yung matataas na mga punong pumapalibot sa parke. ‘Di ko maiwasang maalala si Vee. Ganitong lugar sa probinsya yung madalas naming tinatambayan.
“Marky! Akyat tayo sa puno na ‘yon!” Sigaw sa’kin ni Vee.
“Ayoko. ‘Di ko kayang akyatin ‘yan. Ang taas kaya.”
“Dali na! Iiwan kita dyan, bahala ka.”
Dali-daling umakyat ng puno si Vee kahit malakas yung hangin at natatakpan na yung mukha niya ng mahaba niyang buhok. Hindi naging hadlang yung liit ng katawan niya sa pagiging maliksi niya. Napansin ko rin na halos kakulay na niya yung katawan ng puno dahil sa kayumanggi niyang kulay na siyang ikinangisi ko.
“Ano na, Marky? Aakyat ba o aakyat?” Sigaw niya sa’kin mula sa taas ng puno habang tumatawa.
Hindi ako sanay umakyat pero napilitan ako. Nagkwentuhan at nagtawanan lang kami ni Vee hanggang sa abutin kami ng dapithapon at bumaba na dahil sa sigaw ng magulang ko.
Nagpaalamanan na kami pansamantala dahil mag-gagabi na. Pagkatapos ay pumasok na kami sa kanya kanya namin tinutuluyan.
“O, Marcus, simulan mo nang ayusin yung mga gamit mo ha. Uuwi na ulit tayo sa atin dahil patapos na ang bakasyon mo. Pagod na pagod na rin ang lola kakaasikaso sayo dito.” Habilin sa’kin ni nanay.
Nakaramdam ako ng sakit sa aking puso matapos kong marinig ang mga salitang ito. Gustong-gusto ko pang manitili dito kasama ng aking pamilya, gusto ko pang gumising sa amoy ng masarap na almusal ni lola at higit sa lahat, gusto ko pang makasama si Vee.
Pero mukhang kailangan na talaga naming umuwi. Marami pang kailangang asikasuhin dahil papasok na rin ako sa bago kong paaralan dahil hayskul na ako. Kailangang isantabi muna yung mga gusto kong bagay.
Kinabukasan, narinig ko ulit ang sigaw ni Vee sa labas ng bahay ng lola ko.
“Markyyy! Markyyy! Labas ka na dali!” Sigaw ni Vee.
Dali-dali akong lumabas pero pinagsabihan ako ni nanay na huwag magpagabi at maaga kaming magpapahinga dahil maaga pa kaming aalis bukas.
Naglaro kami ni Vee sa bukiran tulad ng nakasanayan at nagpahinga sa lilim ng puno nang mapagod na. Hindi matao dito sa probinsya, ‘di tulad sa tinitirhan namin na maraming maiingay na paslit sa daanan.
“Marky! Maligo tayo sa sapa bukas sa likod ng bahay nila ka-Linda!” Pag-aaya niya sa’kin.
“Aalis kami bukas eh.”
“Edi sa isang araw na lang.”
“Hindi, Vee. Uuwi na kami sa bahay namin eh.”
Natahimik saglit si Vee.
“Eh kailan ka babalik?” Tanong niya na may halong panginginig ng boses.
“’Di ko alam eh.”
“Gara naman nito eh. Wala na nga akong kalaro ditto ‘tas aalis ka pa.” Unti-unti napupuno ng luha yung mata niya pero pinipigilan niya itong bumagsak.
"Ganon talaga minsan, Vee. Dalawa lang naman yung rason kung bakit dumarating yung isang tao sa buhay mo; minsan para manatili sa tabi mo, minsan para mag-iwan lang ng mga ala-ala."
"Eh ano ka sa dalawang yun, Marky?"
"Syempre ako yung mamamalagi sa piling mo."
“Eh aalis ka nga ‘diba?” Umiiyak na si Vee.
“Babalik din naman ako. Saglit lang naman ‘yun. Pag bakasyon na ulit, maglalaro ulit tayo dito.”
“Sabi mo ‘yan ah.” Sabi ni Vee habang kinukusot niya yung mga mata niya.
Naglakad kami pabalik sa bahay ng lola bago pa dumilim at lumingon ako pabalik sa mga puno at bukiran ng may kirot sa aking dibdib.
“Marcus. Hey. Marcus!”
Naalimpungatan ako sa boses ni David.
“If you just told me earlier that you’d be sleeping here, we should’ve brought a tent.”
“No, silly. Nakatulog lang ako. Ang presko kasi ng hangin.” Sagot ko sa kanya habang humihikab pa.
Inakbayan ako bigla ni David at tinuro yung kalangitan.
“Look! The sun’s currently setting.”
I felt a familiar tug in my heart. Ganitong takipsilim lagi yung nakikita namin ni Vee sa bukiran ng probinsya; probably the reason why I’m not so fond of sunsets. Nalulungkot lang ako pag nakakakita ako.
“Shall we go?” Pag-aalok niya sa akin.
“Tara. Tayo mo muna ako, Vee.” I replied unconsciously. Nagulat ako sa lumabas sa bibig ko. ‘Di pa gising yung buong diwa ko.
Pero lumingon agad si David
“Sorry. David pala. Naninibago pa rin ako sa panaginip ko, hehe.” Palusot ko sa kanya.
He reached out for my right hand at hinila ako nang malakas. At pag sinabi kong malakas, yung lakas na parang mahihiwalay yung braso ko sa balikat ko. He reminds me how Vee intentionally pulls me na halos ikaduwal ko.
“Oww!” I exclaimed. “Baka naman nakakalimutan mong malaki yung braso mo.”
“Hahaha! My bad.”
Nagsimula na kaming magmadaling bumalik sa dorm dahil nagdidilim na. Habang patagal nang patagal, padikit na ko ng padikit kay David dahil takot ako sa dilim. ‘DI nagtagal ay tuluyan na kong dumikit sa kanya.
Bigla niya akong inakbayan ng malaki niyang braso na halos bumalot sa kalahati ng upper body ko.
“You seem to like my arms, huh?”
“Wag kang ano dyan. Baka nga ikaw yung tuwang tuwa sa katawan ko. You’re obviously taking chances.
“Seriously? Ikaw nga ‘tong dumidikit sa’kin.”
“Hindi kaya. Baka kasi mawjldfnjldfgd—“ Hindi ko natapos yung sinasabi ko dahil binaon niya yung mukha ko sa may bandang chest niya.
The rest of our walk to the dorm was me struggling from him and him keeping me within his body. I can’t believe we managed to reach our room.
Pawis na pawis ako pag-akyat sa fourth floor dahil sa kaharutan ni David. Dumerecho na kami sa hall hanggang sa makarating sa tapat ng pinto namin.
“Yung susi.” Utos ko sa kanya.
“Oo, eto na. Hadaling-hadali?”
“Gusto ko nang maligo. Ang init na eh.”
“Ako muna. Pawis na pawis ako dahil sayo eh.”
“Ako na.”
“Nope. Ako muna.”
“Ako nauna ditto sa dorm kaya ako muna.”
“First come first serve!” Sigaw niya habang karipas ng takbo sa loob ng kwarto.
‘HEYYYY!”
Dali-dali akong kumuha ng damit, twalyam, shampoo, sabon at toothbrush sa bag ko at tumakbo papunta sa banyo. Naunahan ako ni David sa loob ng banyo pero tinutulak ko mula sa labas para hindi niya maisara sa loob.
Tumigil sa pagkikipagtulakan sa’kin at hinatak ako sa loob ng banyo.
“Magsabay na lang tayo. Walang makakaligos sa’tin sa lagay na ‘to.”
“Nope. Not gonna happen. Mauna ka na.” I finally surrendered at tumawa lang siya.
“Ah! What a waste. ‘Di mo makikita yung katawan ko.”
“I’d rather die.”
“Hahahaha!”
Halos mag aalas-syete na pala. I lost track of the time dahil sa kabaliwan ni David. Oras na ng hapunan pero baka malipasan ulit kami ng gutom kung magluluto pa ako. Naisipan kong magpadeliver na lang ng pagkain para wala nang hassle. I swear I’ll run out of funds kahit hindi pa ko umaabot ng isang lingo ditto sa university.
“Daviiiid!” Sigaw ko sa pangalan niya habang kumakatok sa pintuan ‘Di nagtagal ay binuksan din niya agad.
“Bakit? Nagbago na ba isip mo at sasabay ka na?” Pagbibiro niya kahit ang daming bula ng shampoo sa ulo niya.
“Anong gusto mong kainin? Pa-deliver na lang tayo.”
“Your choice.” Sabay kindat sakin at sara ng pinto.
He’s right. I should make decisions from now on.
I grabbed my phone and called KFC’s hotline. Umorder 6pc bucket meal dahil paniguradong kukulangin kami. May tyan atang pang-gubat yung kasama ko.
Pumunta ako saglit sa guardhouse ng dorm para ihabilin yung bayad at yung pagkain. Kawawa naman yung delivery man kung kakatukin pa niya isa isa yung mga kwarto para hanapin yung umorder.
I was fishing out money when I noticed that something is missing in my wallet. Wala yung picture namin ni Vee. Tumingin ako sa baba dahil baka nalaglag lang pero wala sa sahig. Baka nalaglag somewhere sa kwarto. Hahanapin ko na lang pag-akyat.
He already got out of the bathroom pag-akyat ko ng kwarto.
“David, hintaying mong yung tawag ng nagdedeliver ‘tas kunin mo na lang sa baba yung pagkain. I already paid for it. Walang lock yung phone ko kaya mabubuksan mo naman”
“Okie dokie!” Masigla niyang sagot.
Pumasok na ako sa banyo at nagsimulang maligo. I took my time cleaning my body. Lahat ata ng dumi dumikit na sa damit at katawan ko.
‘Di nagtagal ay nagbanlaw na ako, nagpunas ng katawan at nagbihis. Wala si David sa kwarto paglabas ko. Maybe the food’s arrived.
Binuksan ko na lang yung aircon habang hinihintay siyang umakyat at tumanaw sa labas ng bintana. The city lights greeted my eyes as I move them from left to right.
I can see the stream of white and red lights emitted from the cars in the far north. They seem like a river flowing endlessly. Some change directions to smaller roads. Some are slowing down near their houses. The cars that halted seem to finally reach their destination. However, many are still moving forward, malayo pa sa pararatingan nila. I can see myself in those cars. For now, they’re just following the path ahead of them. Sooner or later, they’ll take distinct roads to their destination. Maybe for now, I’ll slowly move forward until I discover my purpose and steer down the roads to my dream.
“Just wait for me Vee. I’ll find the road back to you.” Bulong ko sa sarili ko.
“Bakit ngayon lang?” Napalingon ako sa boses ni David.
“Ano? Matagal bang dumating yung nagdedeliver?”
“I waited for you, Marky.” I heard the name I haven’t been called for years.
Hindi ko alam yung isasagot ko sa kanya. Ang seryoso ng mukha ni David.
“What kept you from going back, Marky?” Seryosong mungkahi niya. Hindi ko na siya maintindihan. Ba’t niya ko tinatawag na nickname na bigay sa’kin ni Vee?
“I waited endlessly for almost five years” Walang bahid ng ngiti o anumang pagbibiro sa mukha niya.
“What took you so long to make a choice?” Dahan-dahan siyang lumalapit sakin.
“David. ‘Di kita maintindihan.”
“Then maybe this will make everything clear.” Nilabas niya yung picture namin ni Vee at tinapat sa harap ng mga mata ko.
Aagawin ko sana yung litrato sa kamay niya pero sinangga niya yung kabila niyang kamay bago ko pa iyon maabot.
“Ba’t nasayo ‘yan? Ba’t mo kinuha sa wallet ko?” Tanong ko sa kanya.
“HEAR ME OUT, MARCUS!” Sigaw niya na agad na nagpatahimik sa akin. Hinila niya ako papalapit sa kanya. “Sabi mo babalik ka? Sabi mo mananatili ka sa piling ko? I waited for you but you didn’t return.”
Gulong-gulo na ‘ko. Hindi ako makapag-isip makapag-isip ng maayos sa nginig dahil sa takot kay David.
“Five years, Marcus! Five years are more than enough for you to make a choice but you didn’t! How selfish of you!”
Naluluha na ako. Hindi dahil pwersa ng paghatak niya sakin kung hindi dahil nagiging malinaw na sa akin ang lahat.
He started to quote my words I said since we’ve last seen each other.
“Dalawa lang naman yung rason kung bakit dumarating yung isang tao sa buhay mo; minsan para manatili sa tabi mo, minsan para mag-iwan lang ng mga ala-ala." He slowly recitated. “You assured me that you were the one that will stay.”
Hindi ko na mapigilan yung pagtulo ng mga luha ko.
"I was scared that you had already erased me from your memories. You know I never had someone before. Besides from my parents, I grew up all alone." Dahan dahan siya umupo sa higaan niya habang unti-unting namumugto yung mga mata. "Remember the first time we met? You were very awkward and silent as if your mouth was sealed shut. Ganito ka pa rin naman ngayon pero malaki na yung pagbabago." He gave me a smile that indicated sadness." I always do the talking and somehow, you patiently listened to all of them. One day, you started talking and things got better and better. I thank the one from above for finally giving me not only a friend but a confidant."
Nangilid na yung mga luhang kanina noya pa pinipigilan. I felt a sharp pang of guilt and pain seeing a lively, caring person suffer because of me.
"All was well. That's what I thought. What was once a thorny road became a level highway in my sight." Pagpapatuloy niya. "Unti—, until— you left me in that miserable place."
He burst into tears like a child. I can't bear this sight. Here I am crying at a corner where I was the one who caused this adversity.
I tried to walk near him. Every step seemed like a mile. Huminga ako ng malalim at pinigil ko yung luha ko. Nang makalapit ako sa kanya, lumuhod ako sa harap niya at iniharap yung mga mata niya sa mga mata ko.
"Vee."
Pilit kong kinukuha yung atensiyon niya.
"David. I know thousands of sorries would not suffice to mend your heart. Only now that I realized that I was selfish. I chose to go on with my life without knowing someone was left behind."
Patuloy ang titig ng dalawang malumlom na mga mata sa akin.
"Go on. Hurt me. Curse at me. Punch me in my face. Do whatever you want that'll extuinguish the flames in your heart. After all I deserved the pain that you solely felt.
Hinawakan ko yung isa niyang kamay at pilit itong sinasampal sa mukha ko.
"You should leave too. Disappear like I did. Go far away for 20 years and I would not stop thinking about you then.
Pilit ko pa rin sinasaktan yung sarili ko gamit yung mga kamay niya.
"Nakakapagod, Marky." Mahina niya buntong-hininga.
Hindi ko na alam yung sasabihin ko. Alam ko na kahit anong salita at iyak pa ang gawin ko sa harap ni David, hindi nito maalis yung sakit na naranasan niya.
"I grew tired."
Unti-unti nang nahihimasmasan si David.
"But I never said I'd give up." Malalim niyang pagkakasabi.
Tumingala ako sa pagkakayuko at tumingin sa namumula niyang mga mata.
"After causing all that trouble, do you think I'll let you leave my sight again?" Bumalik siya sa pagkaseryoso niya. "You have a lot of debts to pay."
Yes. I should definitely suffer. I deserve this.
"Isa na 'to."
He leaned towards me untiil there was no more inches left between our lips.
Ramdam ko ang init at lambot ng labi niya sa sarili kong mga labi.
If I could describe it, home would fit it perfeclyt. It makes you feel secured and safe.
"You dork!" Sabi niya sa akin pagbitiw niya sa aming halik at piningot ako sa tenga. "Don't you ever leave me like that ever again."
"Ahhh! Yes boss."
Sinuklian ko lang ng mahigpit na yakap lahat ng sakripisyong ginawa niya para sa akin. That's all I could at very least, for now.
One bed remained empty that night. Many questions remained unanswerd. But two worlds became one.
We fell asleep with his both of his arms wrapped around my body, securing me as if I would sneak out in the middle of the night.
After years of existing, this night was the night I had the perfect and peaceful slumber, yet.
-
Nagising ako sa sikat ng araw na tumama sa mga mata ko. Paglingon ko ay wala na si Vee sa aking tabi.
Kinabahan ako na baka panaginip lang lahat ng nangyari kagapon, kagabi.
I couldn't see his bags that were in disarray. I jumped out of bed and search the room but he was nowhere to be found. Wala rin yung inorder kong pagkain kagabi.
I sat on the bed while hugging my knees. Maybe it was a dream after all. Tears started rolling down my cheeks.
I reached for my wallet and saw the old photo of David and me under the shade of a familiar tree.
"Sorry, Vee." I whispered to myself.
I was half crying and half smiling. Everything seemed real. Maybe Vee had forgotten about me by now.
Ilang minuto rin akong nakatulala nang mapansin kong may lalaking nakatayo sa pintuan ng kwarto ko.
Singkit na mga mata, maputing balat, maninipis na labi, chinito at kamukha ni Jung Hae In.
"Awww, Marky. Saglit lang akong nawala pero grabe yung— AHHH!"
Dinambahan ko siya at hinagkan ko nang mahigpit.
Hindi ko napigilang umiyak sa dibdib ni David.
"There. There." Pagtahan niya sa'kin na tila ba'y nagpapatahimik na ng isang bata. Patuloy lamang siya sa paghimas ng ulo at likod ko.
"Look who's babbling now. Kagabi pinapaalis mo'ko 'diba? Kala ko— AHHH!" Kinurot ko siya sa tagiliran.
I feel relieved. I don't deserve this but still, thank God for making our paths cross.
"Wanna grab coffee?" Mahina niyang sabi sa akin habang kayakap pa ako
I nodded in response.
"Let's go?"
"Don't you think you and I still need to shower?"
"Together?" Tanong niya.
"Nope. I'll go first."
"Bahala ka. Paglabas mo baka wala na k—" Tiningnan ko siya ng masama. "Kidding hahaha'" Pagbawi niya.
Pagkatapos naming gumayak ako sabay kaming lumakad papalabas ng campus. Ang dating tahimik na kapaligiran ay unti-unti namg nabubuhay sapagkat sasapit na muli ang pasukan.
"What if you stayed and we became classmates back then, ang dami siguro nating kalalokohan." He casually said.
"Maraming KANG kalokohan." I corrected him and we both laughed.
We were talking as if nothing happened. Sooner or later, we have to put our missing pieces back together and tie any loose ends. I can feel that we’re just both waiting for the right timing.
The café was already in sight after few minutes of walking. It looked empty on the outside. It seems that we weren’t the only ones who are about to start their day.
The door chimed as we enter the shop and we were greeted with all smiles by the lively crew. David returned the favor by giving them his bright smile. I still can’t believe that this smile went through so much but somehow, it managed to stay.
Dahil wala pang masyadong customers sa loob, sa counter na agad ang punta namin kaysa sa mga upuan.
Lumapit ako sa glass counter para tingnan yung mga freshly-baked bread and pastries at nakabuntot lang si Vee sa akin.
“Ano gusto mo?” Tanong ko sa kanya habang nakatingin pa rin sa mga tinapay.
“Ikaw.” Bulong niya sa tenga ko.
Siniko ko siya sa tiyan kahit nakatalikod ako. Impit ang sigaw niya dahil ayaw niyang mabulabog ang mga tila bagong gising ding mga parokyano.
Nauna na siyang lumapit sa barista at sinabi ang natipuhan niyang makakain.
“Caffe Mocha, grande. Pakiside na rin ng cubano. Thanks.” He told the guy politely.
“Got it. Yung sa inyo po, sir?” Tanong niya sa akin.
I don’t know ‘bout other people pero naprepressure ako pag hinihintay ako ng mga waiters or staff sa order ko. Matagal kasi akong pumili.
“Ahm. Vanilla Spice Latte, tall and uhmm.” Pagtigil ko habang mabilis na tinitingnan yung mga tinapay. Pipili na lang ako kahit anong mukhang masarap.
“He’ll take the ham and swiss.” Sabi ni David sa barista.
“Okay, sir. Ulitin ko lang po. Caffe mocha grande, tall vanilla spice latte, ham and swiss and cubano.” Mukhang matagal-tagal na ring nagwowork yung barista sa shop na ‘to. “Ano po yung names nila?”
“Marky and Vee.” David responded and the guy wrote our names in the paper cup.
Kumuha si David ng card na ginagamit specifically sa coffee shop na ‘yun at inabot sa counter.
Just looking at him puts me in awe. He definitely changed. A lot. Ugali lang niya yung hindi nagbago. I wouldn’t recognize him even a bit kung makakasalubong ko siya elsewhere.
“Quota ka na sa kaaktitig mo sa’kin ah. Tara upo tayo do’n.” Aya niya sa akin.
Umupo kami sa bandang dulo ng kapihan.
“Hey, Marcus. I’m sure your mind is about to burst because of countless thoughts running through them.” Sabi niya sa akin pagkaupo.
“How’d you know?” Tanong ko.
“I just know.”
“You’re being weird.”
“Let’s just play a game. Shall we?” Oh, here we go. I’m about to fall right under his ploy again.
“Ano naman?”
“Simple lang. We take turns. I ask, you answer and vice versa. All questions must be answered honestly.”
“Okay. That seems fair.”
“Game! Ako na mauuna.”
“Ba’t ikaw?”
“I think I do have the right. After leaving me like that.” May point naman siya. “Okay. First question. Besides being coward, what kept you from returning back to the province?”
“I was busy. Things became different since high school. As you know, my parents are responsible. Too responsible. They’re thinking way, way ahead that they became lost in their pursuit for our future. At first, they were happy that they’re earning enough. But that didn’t satied their wants. They pushed themselves forward until it was too late. We were already in the edge of the cliff and eventually fell. Napabayaan ng tatay ko yung kasalusugan niya at sinakripisyo ni nanay yung trabaho niya. And in an instant, our life was slowly falling apart. Those dark times made me that I don’t really have a choice. I had no leisure to think of myself.”
“But why didn’t you tell me earlier?” Pag-aalala niya sa akin.
“Na-uh. That’s already your second question. My turn.” I smiled at him with sarcasm na sinagot lang niya ng seryosong tingin.
“You’re a boy. What happened?” Tanong ko sa kanya.
“Ha? ‘Di kita magets.”
“I thought you were a girl.”
“Because you didn’t bother to ask, you dork! Serves you right for being silent back then. Me, again. Why didn’t you tell me earlier about your parents?”
“Pagod ka. Nasaktan ka. Hinayaan kitang ibuhos lahat ng hinanakit mo sa’kin. You have the right to do that. Besides, I don’t want that story to serve as an excuse. I admit that I hurt you. Ako na ulit. You’ve changed so much. For almost a second, I couldn’t see Vee in that body. Anong nangyari sa’yo sa Brgy. Taal?”
“Change is constant, Marky. You just told me that your life changed. Mine too. Things unexpectedly got better.”
Tumigil siya saglit.
“Bakit ka tumigil?”
“I don’t think it’s right to tell you this, Considering how things went downhill for you.”
“No. It’s okay. That happened for a reason. Tuloy mo lang yung kwento mo.”
“Uhhh, okay. May bumili sa mga natitirang lupa ni Lolo sa malaking halaga. Pumayag siya dahil wala na ring mag-aasikaso dahil matanda na siya samantalang bata pa ko para magtrabaho sa bukirin. Pagkabenta ng ari-arian namin, lumipat na kami sa bayan. We started a humble business near the market. Nagtayo ng sari-sari store si Lolo malapit sa palengke. Dahil maganda yung puwesto at medaling Makita ng mga tao, unti-unti naming umusbong. Hanggang lumaki na at sinimulan na naming magdagdag ng mga bilihin. Thank God, He was there to guide us every step of the way. Actually, parang mini-supermarket na siya ngayon. Nag-hire na rin kami ng mga staff dahil hindi na kakayanin ni Lolo mag-isa at busy ako sa pag-aaral. All that happened within five years. Mahirap paniwalaan but God really moves in amazing ways.”
“Good for you then. But that really didn’t answer my question.”
“Teka lang kasi. Heto na ulit. After all the ups and downs, you were still in my mind. I thought I should make myself better para pagdating mo, hindi na maitim, pandak, payat at madungis na Vee yung sasalubong sayo.”
Napangiti lang ako sa sinabi niya.
“As if naman madadaan lang ako sa itsura.”
“Kahit madalas kita mahuli na nakatitig sa’kin? Tataas ko pa lang yung braso para hamapsin siya pero pinigilan niya ako agad. “Heyyy. Biro lang. I’m certain you weren’t like that. Si Vee, yung mahal mo, hindi yung gusgusin at maitim na bata sa Taal, hindi yung matangkad, maputi at gwapong nasa harapan mo.”
He held my hand. No words were spoken I was sure ex was expressing his gratitude although I am the one that should be.
“Hmm. I think I prefer the new Vee rather than the old one.” Pabiro kong sabi na ikinatawa naming dalawa.
Biglang lumapit yung barista sa amin at dala-dala yung mga pagkain.
“Sir, dinala ko na po ditto yung order niyo. Kanina pa po kayo tinatawag pero hindi niyo po ata naririnig.”
“Talaga? Sorry. Daldal kasi nitong kausap ko. OWW!” Sinipa ko si David sa binti sa ilalim ng lamesa.
“My turn. Hindi pa ba sapat na sinaktan mo ko emotionally? Baka kala ng ibang tao kasali ako sa frat dahil sa kakabugbog mo sa’kin.”
“Nasaktan, hindi sinaktan.” I corrected him. “You seem now so no worries.”
He pouted at me. He really should stop making faces at me. Baka ‘di ko kayanin yung ka-cute-an niya.
We started to munch our breakfast, not minding the people in the café which by the way, are starting to fill up the tables. The silent café earlier pretty much changed. What was driven by few customers earlier is now doing its best to accommodate the line of customers. The busier it gets, the clearer becomes the purpose. It does not intend to waste opportunites.
Perhaps I should, too.
Having you here at this point makes me glad. Thanks for stucking with Vee and Marky ‘till the end! That was a brave choice you just made. ☺
By the way, I also happen to be the author of ‘Scintilla’ which I submitted around November last year. I hope you would give it a go if you enjoyed this story. I assure you it’s much less dramatic.
And to the few people who requested a second part of ‘Scintlla’, I sincerely apologize for deciding to end it because 1.) I thought that the story should really that way or else I’ll pretty much drag the plot down and eventually become boring and 2.) I became very busy because the second semester started and I was flooded with schoolwoks which I barely survived.
Since I wanted to make it up to you guys, here’s a story I wrote. Life’s full of difficult choices. However, that should not hinder our lives from continuing. Right or wrong, we should brave the roads we take if we want to reach our destination.
P.S. If you have come across to some errors, forgive me because I’m too lazy to proofread.
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