Darwin's Theory (Part 6)

By: Julius

Thanks for tuning up to this point. I read through the reviews from my past story and yeah, I agree that at first, the way how I give myself praises were pretty annoying. When I read through the story I felt the same way you did guys. But I just want to elaborate myself and I wrote it honestly. Now I'll tell you more about myself before we proceed with the next part. Sa BPO company na pinapasukan ko, we handle Intuit, QuickBooks. Accounting software po siya kaya professionals and business owners or sometimes mga accountants or IT personnel ng mga owners talaga kausap namin noong agent pa ako. We handle Aussies and American clients and sometimes Canadian clients as well. I stepped through the career ladder and reached my current position as a team leader. So ayun lang, konting info for those who doubt my credibilities as an existing person. Next part!
I stood up and wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. I pulled him back to my bed and we kissed. He's on top of me. He threw his shirt away and pulled my pants off. He unzipped his jeans and I pushed his jeans down a little bit enough for his boxer brief to show. I touched his chest and pushed him away.
Ako: please be gentle.
Marc: yeah, I promise I won't hurt you.
Marc pulled my boxer and threw it away. My legs went to his sides and I felt his penis inside his boxer brief shoving in my butthole.
Marc: Jules.. Jules... Jules!!!

My senses came back and I saw Marc still dressed and he's covered in vomit.

Ako: I'm sorry, what happened?
Marc: we drank. And you pushed yourself to your limits.
Marc filled me in with what happened.
Ako: the movie?

Marc: yes, we watched Harry Potter, Deathly Hollows part 2 remember?
Ako: we missed the Hobbit?
Marc: the Hobbit?
Ako: yes
Marc: we were talking about it earlier, you said you want a movie of it so bad you'll volunteer to be casted as Bilbo.
Ako: I'm confused.
Marc: we drank right after you read through my former girlfriend's message.
Ako: woah, that part was true?
Marc: yes.

Ako: I was dreaming.. Few chapters?
Marc: yes. Deathly hollows part 2, last few chapters of Harry Potter. You said there were characters not given enough credit.
Ako: we making love?
Marc: We were kissing when you passed out. I took care of you. It's been four hours.
Ako: I'm so embarassed.
Marc: don't be.
Ako: nothing else happened?
Marc: nothing. I will never take advantage of your situation. You know that.
Ako: yes. And thank you.

All those intense feelings were subconscious. Why did I dreamt of us making love? It's a bit absurd to think of that very early. When I consulted my diary here's how exactly I confessed to it.
"Diary, I just dreamt of us having sex. Why? Does my subconscious willing to lose virginity I carefully kept safe my whole existence? If so, I need a sign. Something to provoke me. Should I agree when it came to the point he ask me? I'm confused diary... I know I'm not ready. What I don't know if something inside my mind is."
Marc stayed until morning came. I cooked breakfast that will delight him in return for him taking care of me when I passed out. He ate a lot and went home to prepare for our work. When we reached our work place, there's just one thing we usually do. Sit and wait in the canteen until the rest of our team mates arrive. We talked a lot. Random stuffs. Our teammates will often ask us to kiss and we sometimes grant their requests. Most of the time we just enjoy each other's company and keep what couples do private. Like holding hands and kissing. I also got inspired to hit the gym because he always does. He taught me how to dance and became my fitspiration. Hindi ko mahabol yung ganda ng katawan niya nun kasi payat nga ako pero at least nadadagdagan yung timbang ko. I've been very happy. Marc being a great partner and Darwin finally getting over me after 2 months has been a great friend as well. Darwin met a lady, someone from outside our circle. By that I mean hindi namin kawork. Marc and I enjoyed the two months we're together as a couple. We bond, we communicate, he helps me in my studies. He said if it came to the point where I need to choose between work and study, i should pursue my studies. Mahirap i-balance ang work, studies, sabayan mo pa ng pagkakaroon ng boyfriend. It was very hard. Came the peak season from our work, also came huge projects from my school. I've been busy at work and after work I'm also busy for my projects. I barely had time for Marc. Pag magla-lunch na ako ay may call pa siya kaya ang ginagawa ko na lang ay kini-kiss ko siya before taking my lunch at work. If magkasabay kami ay maswerte na. Naiintindihan niya yung pinagdadaanan ko kaya tinotolerate niya ang kawalan ko ng oras para sa kanya. But not for long. My schedule became an argument. Nung una nagpaparamdam lang siya sa mga message niya sa phone pero dahil nga insensitive ako ay naging personal na ang mga pagpapahiwatig niya na wala na akong oras para sa kanya. One time after work he decided to spend the night at my apartment. He sometimes spend the night at my apartment so we could cuddle but we never had sex before. He understands my hectic schedule. I was so excited for him to come over because it's been 3 and a half weeks since we last spend the night with each other. Only to be disappointed because he wants to come over to argue with me.

Marc: I barely see you. You're always busy,.
Ako: I thought you understand? You said you'll support me.
Marc: yes! But not like this. Everytime I look at you, you're always occupied. Do you even bother to look at me sometimes?
Ako: of course I do. But we're just both busy.
Marc: Is that so? Cause that's not what I can feel. You forgot to kiss me thrice this week.
Ako: is that such a big deal? Is that why we're in a relationship? Isn't this about how we love each other?
Marc: exactly. How will I feel that you still love me if you don't even do any effort to make time for me?
Ako: I'm sorry, I just don't have time for leisure right now. I can't go to some pathetic movie or dates because I have things I need to prioritize. *sigh*
Marc: and I'm not one of those?
Ako: you're not a thing Marc! You have sense of understanding! I need to prioritize those that are not capable of understanding. My projects won't finish themselves, for once Marc, try to understand me. You always say it but you don't mean it.
Marc: i just want a little of your attention. Is that so hard to give?
Ako: I need you to understand Marc. Is that so hard to do? I was so excited for you to come over. I thought maybe we can spend some time working together on some of my projects but as far as I can tell, you don't find it interesting.
Marc: I'm sorry. I enjoy and I want to help you. It's just that, everytime I do, you seem so into your stuffs and you don't seem to notice that I'm here.
Ako: sorry.
Marc: if we keep on being like this, -
Ako: then we're over. Are we?

It was a moment of silence. Marc's eyes dimmed. His tears are about to fall when he looked at me and lunged forward. He kissed me. His arms wrapped around my body and his hand slided from my waist to my back and into my nape. Marc pressed his lips harder and pulled me inside his arms so tight I was having trouble catching my breath. I pressed my lips to his. And my hands found their way to his chest. I pushed him a little and we pulled away from kissing. We're both catching our breaths and we're very close. His arms still wrapped around me.

Marc: I can't imagine the following days, weeks, months, without you. I'm sorry I acted like a child.
Ako:I'm sorry, you're right, I should give you time. I was wrong to prioritize everything except you. I should've done something to make you feel important to me. I failed to do that.

Our breaths were deep I can feel the warmth of his inside my lungs. I wrapped my arms to his body and I turned around. His arms found its way to my sides and I held them. We went to my room and we sat on the bed. Next thing I knew is he was on top of me without his shirt. And he's kissing me. He removed my pants and his pants as well. His only wearing his brief right at that moment. I wore only my shirt and my boxers as well. He kissed me. He pinned my right arm on the bed and started to kiss my neck down to my tummy wherein he slightly moved my shirt upwards. My left hand is tracing the muscles on his back. When he faced me again, I saw in his eyes what I never saw before. Passion. My legs found their way to his sides and now he's tracing them with his hand. It felt warm. He pulled my underwear upwards which exposed my ass and he started the action. He shoved his penis in my ass and it felt warm. My left hand touched his biceps.

Ako: be gentle.
Marc: I'll never hurt you, I promise.

Marc carefully pointed the head of his penis in my hole. When he knew he's on the right part, he slowly entered. It was painful. Very painful. My first sexual intercourse. The white sheet was stained with red. Marc slowly pulled out his dick and let me rest. And he's back to action. He kissed me. He kissed me so hard I barely noticed that his dick is already inside my hole. He took another slow move to enter my hole. It was excruciating. I never saw his dick before but that moment I knew he has a huge penis. (He's 6 inches and 2 cm, mataba din, I discovered when we had our chance to make love again). Naipasok na niya ng buo yung titi niya and he stopped moving just so I can adjust with what's filling my hole. We kissed for like 7-10 minutes and he started pulling his dick out. But not totally out. This is the part where we're having sex. As in sex na talaga. He fucked me slowly. Blood still drips whenever he pulls his dick outward. Making the sheets more red. He moved back and forth slowly. Pain was replaced with lust. It still hurts but the pain is worth it. My boyfriend is being pleased. I traced his chest with my left hand. My right hand still pinned on the bed with his left hand started to feel numb. But I don't give a damn. I want this. Marc took away my virginity. My underwear caught red stains as well,, we decided to remove it. Marc saw my dick. It's still flaccid. Around 4 inches when flaccid and 7 inches when hard. My dick back then was just long. Payat din, mahaba lang. When I grew older, the diameter of my penis increased as well as the length. So going back, Marc threw my underwear away and put his dick back to my hole. My dick is still flaccid. He started rubbing it with his hand, finally freeing my right arm. You can see in his face that he never rubbed someone else's dick before but he's trying his best to please me, sexually. He rubs his hand to my dick while fucking me. And then he decided to jack me off. He did his best. My dick got hard and Marc was surprised with how long my dick is.
Ako: Spanish Blood?
Marc just laughed and carressed me with his kisses. He kissed my lips and moved my shirt upwards just enough to expose my chest. He played with my nipples with his tongue. That's when my world spun around. It was ecstatic. I never knew I had very sensitive nipples. My moans were loud and my eyes rolled upwards. Nakakabaliw. Biglang may tumilamsik. Yung precum ko. It was very clear kaya alam kong precum pa lang yun. Sobrang sarap na sarap ako sa ginagawa niya sa nipples ko. My legs went limp. He had to support my legs dahil dumederecho or nagfeflex yung legs ko sa sobrang sarap nang ginagawa niyang paglaro sa nipples ko. It's as if my nipples were capable of producing milk. He stopped playing with it and my senses were back to normal. Marc is still fucking me. His right hand occupied with my dick. He used my precum to lubricate my penis as he jacks it off. His sway became faster. I barely recognize the pain because of the pleasure I felt. He jacked me off faster and now he's fucking me faster and harder.

Marc: uuhh-- ughhh--Ughh!!
 My hand went to his nape and I pulled him towards my face and we kissed. He's fucking me faster and harder. His muscles twitched and he pulled his dick out. His cum exploded on my tummy and my shirt. It also went to some parts of the sheet. He reached his climax. His dick is still hard. He pressed his dick to mine and wrapped his hand around our dicks and started jacking off. Puro sounds namin na nasasarapan ang sumunod na naririnig. And then finally I'm about to cum. He jack off faster and we both cum.
We: Ugh!!!!
I was covered with cum that night. The sheets were red. We cleaned the bed and ourselves. We took a shower together and we kissed throughout until we finished. We slept next to each other and woke up the next morning with our relationship stronger and full of understanding. Unfortunately, we only made it to 10 months. Circumstances happen. Some people are not destined to be ours forever. Especially those who came in first. Marc, with all his courage, honestly told me what he wants in life. He wants kids. He wants a wife. I let him go. We had lots of great memories together and I never regret that he's the one who took my virginity away because he made me so happy. I also had a chance to meet his parents and he proudly told them we're in a relationship. Now he is happy with his wife and 2 kids. We're still friends. Now, that's the story of how I lost my virginity. But why Darwin's Theory? That's another part to tell. Thanks for reading and I'll make sure to update this story soon.

To those who wonder. Kami pa din ni Ramil. Hehehe. I don't expect this to be forever. My wounds are healing. For a long period of time I was clouded by the lustful world that someone put me into. Nakakatuwa kase naging daan pa ang KM sa pag reminisce ko sa dating ako. Now, I have deeper relationship goals and life goals as well. Sa nagcomment sa first story ko na Uber extra service kung nasan ang kotse ko, I still suck at navigation, wala pa rin akong sense of direction. Kabisado ko na ang Cubao oo, pero EDSA kasi eh. I'd leave the driving to the experts. Ramil wants me to try to drive. I may consider.

Previous part I shared who took my virginity away. It was Marc. Now let's get going to why this whole story is entitled Darwin Theory. Before that, let me shout out Prince Zaire for Beautiful Redemption and Beautiful Disaster series. I was intrigued and it exceeded expectations. I'm a reader. I love Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl's Beautiful Creatures and Dangerous Creatures series. One of the book from that series is entitled Beautiful Redemption. That's why I love how great of a story Beautiful Redemption written by Prince Zaire. Anyway, I already shared that Marc and I had a fight, we had sex, and we only lasted 10 months. Sa 10 months na yun, 8 months na alam sa kanila na may relasyon kami. But things ended pretty fast.
Marc: remember when you said you want me to be honest?
Ako: yes.
Marc: I want kids.
Ako: woah.
Marc: I'm serious.
Ako: I'm too young. I don't know. Can we afford a child? I really am not sure how adoption works or.. (natigilan ako dahil napansin ko ang mata niya.)
Marc: I want kids... From my wife... My own blood.
Ako: yeah.
Marc: I don't want to hurt you.
Ako: It's.. I understand. (maluha luha ako but I still smile). You're a man, of course you want to have a normal family. I understand..
Marc: I'm sorry.
Ako: I'll always be happy for you. Just.. No more words please.. And give me some space..
Marc: look,
Ako: I'm not mad at you.. If that's what you think.. It hurts yeah. But I want you to be happy. And if that happiness is to have kids, I want to spare you from being hurt. Cause I will never be able to give them to you. (I said all that while tears run down my face)
Marc: i hope you'd be happy.
Marc squeezed my hand and walked away. It's over. We're over. I want to hug him one more time. But it felt like my feet were buried on the cold cement where I stood. Lights dimmed, paputok na ang araw at kusa nang namamatay ang mga ilaw sa poste ngunit andito pa rin ako sa labas ng apartment ko. Naghihintay na lumingon pa siya ng isang beses. Pero wala na pala siya sa harap ko o sa kayang tanawin ng mga mata ko. Anim na oras na pala ang nakalipas. I have to prepare for work. And for my school after that. Pumasok ako sa work ng naka -school uniform. Everyone noticed what has changed between me and Marc. It's hard at first to be his friend. Someone said you can never be friends with your lover. It made it tough for me to consider the trip sponsored by our company dahil mag-iisang taon na pala kami sa productions sa company. May gaganapin na group activity sponsored by the company para samin na mga hanggang ngayon ay nandito pa. 11 na lang kaming magkakakaklase ang natira. Ang iba ay nasa ibang team sa tier 1, kami naman na apat ay level 2 support na at magkakateam pa din. After we spent 7 months sa prod, na-endorse kami for tier 2. Pito sa batch namin na natira ay nanatili sa tier 1 dahil mas madali ang commission doon at mas madali ang buhay. Anyway, naging evident nga samin ni Marc na wala na kami. Nagpapansinan kami oo pero wala na yung lambing. At paminsan minsan na lang ako sumama sa lunch nila. Darwin, being a friend tried to squeeze the story out of me, the only thing he gathered from Marc is that we're over. May girlfriend nung mga panahon na yun si Darwin na hindi namin kawork. Darwin shows concern to me because I seemed so stressed everyday. Lumaki eyebag ko at pumayat uli ako. Sa 10 months kasi namin ni Marc, nagbuff yung katawan ko sa gym and sa diet na tinuro niya sakin. I miss those times. I really do. Kaso wala na talaga. Lunch nun at napagpasyahan kong magpahuli sa kanila. Little did I know na nagpahuli din si Marc just so we can have this conversation
Marc: hey.
Nagulat ako nun dahil sanay na ako kumain mag-isa after 3 and a half weeks na wala ako masyadong pinapansin sa kanila.
Ako: h-hey.
Marc: how are you?
Ako: I'm fine.
Marc: it's not what your body tells me.
Ako: i'm fine.
Marc: tell me in all honesty, why are you neglecting yourself?
Ako: I don't. I'm just too busy that's why I don't have time to eat sometimes.
Marc: this isn't about our break up?
Ako: no.
Marc: tell me the truth.
Ako: what if it is? Is there something you can do? Marc, for goodness' sake, I'm still trying to get over you. It gets harder with your presence and with you consistently asking me to join you on your leisures.
Marc: i just want us to be friends.
Ako: Marc, we'll be friends soon but not now. Not when I'm like this. Everytime you talk to me, I still feel something. I still love you, and we can't ignore that. I need to think. I need to get this out of me.
Marc: I'll give you time then.
Ako: thanks.

I focused myself to work and with my studies. I never thought being single again will be a hard thing. I went back to my old routine to get my mind off of things. Morning jog, plenty food for breakfast, work, school (depende sa schedule), gym (different gym this time) and home. I thought those will take my mind off of Marc, but I was wrong. When I jog I remember Marc with me. During breakfast, it's his diet I eat. At work, he's there. At school, it's him I can only think of. Whenever I hit the gym, it's his choreography I follow. And when I went home, I can still picture the things we used to do. I remember how we painted the shelves brown. I can remember him setting up the antennae for my television. I remember how we used to lay on the floor, eating stuffs and playing board games we were never bored with. And lastly, I can picture all the times we shared the bed together. It was tough. It took me 4 months to finally move on and act normal around him. Before dumating yung time na ok na ako, going back, excited na nga kaming magkaka-batch for our anniversary in the company. Isang taon na kami sa productions. It's time to prepare for our activity. This event happened before pa ko maka-move on kay Marc kaya may pag-aalinlangan akong sumama but everyone will come and we're free naman kase the company cleared our schedules so we can all join. So I did. The 11 of us was there. Me, Darwin, Marc, Berna, Evangeline and other people. We spent our anniversary sa isang resort sa Pangasinan. Black sand siya. As far as I remember somewhere in Labrador. We all caught up with everyone's lives. We all had a great time, but it's still kind of awkward between me and Marc and Darwin was there to comfort me. May girlfriend si Darwin nung time na yun, as i said before. Nung nasa Pangasinan kami nun ay medyo clingy na siya sakin. It's almost half a year na hindi kami masyadong nagkausap dahil nagstay siya sa tier 1. He knew Marc and I were over and as a friend, he wants to cheer me up.

Darwin: hey!!
Ako: yes?
Darwin: how are you doing?
Ako: I'm not fine.
Darwin: you never changed.
Ako: what do you mean?
Darwin: I'm saying, you're still straightforward.
Ako: why? Is that a negative?
Darwin: not exactly. I mean, it's pretty obvious you're not actually fine, but the guts to honestly concede and tell me that you're not fine, it's very you.
Ako: well, I can't help it. So, how are you?
Darwin: I'm doing pretty good. What's bothering you?
Ako: Marc and I, we're not what we used to. He's... We're over. It's pretty obvious. I don't know what's the point telling it.
Darwin: what's the reason behind it?
Ako: he wants kids. I can never give it to him.
Darwin: there's adoption.
Ako: not that way. He wants kids of his own. His own blood. Anyway, may it be his or we adopt, I don't do well around kids. I never wanted one. I just want a dog. A snake perhaps.
Darwin: how did it happen?
Ako: he said what he wants. I let go of him. I'm not shallow-minded. If that is what will make him happy, then he can go ahead and achieve that. With or without me.
Darwin: you could've at least talked to him. If he truly loves you, he'll sacrifice. Like that of The Longest Ride.
Ako: you read that book?
Darwin: yes. Recently.
Ako: well, I can't get him to sacrifice his dreams if there's a way he can make them come true. And my life is not a book. I don't want him to stay, if he stays, he's just happy, but he will have regrets. If he finds his true love, he'll be happier.
Darwin: you want to spare him from regrets and you let him go even if you'll be hurt. And now you're hurt.
Ako: I was just too naive to even consider that relationship, I knew sooner or later he'll come to his senses and realize that I will never be enough for him. That to bear his child will be impossible. Yes, I was happy the whole time we've been together but it's just a failure to begin with.
Darwin: there's no failed relationship. It's a successful relationship that only happened to last 10 months.
Ako: Is that a quote from Barney?
Darwin: How I Met Your Mother, yeah.

By the way, How I Met Your Mother is an American television series about a group of friends. Marshall, Lily, Ted, Robin and Barney. Search niyo na lang. I was amazed that Darwin also watched the series.

Ako: wow, I never met a fellow HIMYM fan.
Darwin: hahaha.
Ako: god, I miss that show.
Darwin: yeah. You remember when Robin and Barney married? It's  ---

Darwin and I had a long conversation about that series. From its first season to its final season.

Darwin: Marshall and Lily got back together when they broke up. Lily realized he loved Marshall when she left him for San Francisco to chase her dreams, she just needed time.
Ako: we're not Marshall and Lily. Pursuing your career and having kids are two very different things, they are not the same dreams. If you want to put us up that way, I think it will be absurd if it ever gotten into my mind that there's still a chance for me and Marc to get back together.
Darwin: I'm sorry.
Ako: don"t be. It's not as if I'd die without him. I can move on. I will. Marc is still a good friend despite what happened. I can't tie him forever.
Darwin: what's his dream about having kids? I mean, toddlers are very annoying. Right?
Ako: yes. But a man should dream about building his own family right?
Darwin: I guess so, some men are just not fond of kids.
Ako: am i right?
Darwin: yes, fine.
Ako: good, you have a girlfriend. Haven't you got any dream of establishing your own family?
Darwin: I do, just a different way.
So Darwin and I had another long conversation. And we drank until we passed out. Next thing I knew was we were sharing the same bed the morning I woke up. The more I try to remember what happened, the less I remember. Which room is this? I don't remember this room. And why am I naked with this guy?
To be continued.
Thanks for tuning in to my story. Everytime na sinusulat ko 'to, I feel the pain and the happiness I felt before as if those wounds are fresh. Now I have Ramil to share every emotion with.

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