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Archer Teacher

By: Gino Hi everyone.. i really hope this time around mapublish na yung story.. hehe.. this is my life as a discreet bisexual.. first of all...

By: Gino

Hi everyone.. i really hope this time around mapublish na yung story.. hehe.. this is my life as a discreet bisexual.. first of all, comfort zone ko ang pagsusulat in taglish so pasensya na if mejo conyo ang datingan but ill try my best to be as expressive as i can be.. sana magustuhan nyo.. by the way im writing this while waiting for our shuttle.. picture me in a cubicle with my trusty laptop..

Im Gino. 28 years old from Laguna.. Im 5'7" , fair complexion, simple lang and I think I have the boy next door look.. Im writing this kasi I just want to share my story.. I guess this is a way for me to express who I really am on the inside since di ko rin naman maexpress ng maigi sa outside world.. I grew up normal. Average family sa isang subdivision, 90s generation.. pretty much average lahat.. middle class kumbaga.. and one more term i would like to use is conservative. my family is very conservative.. lahat talaga ideal.. within the norms lagi.. idol ko nga ang parents ko sa living the life kasi.. almost perfect relationship nila.. sobrang rare ang pagaway nila.. in fact 28 na ko, isang beses ko pa lang sila nakita mag away.. i have a sister and a brother.. ako ang bunso.. im not the spoiled bunso though.. tipong ako yung bunsong madalas utusan.. hehe.. no biggie.. bihira lang din kami magaway ng mga kapatid ko.. we all lived like ung mga family sa suburbia.. both parents are working.. may isang kasambahay.. catholic values.. etc..

dahil don sa kinalakihan kong environment, i still think everyday kung bakit ganito ang naging perspective and decision ko sa buhay.. bakit sa same sex ako naattract? naarouse? i dont know... basta naaalala ko, nung grade 4 ako bigla akong nagkacrush sa isa kong classmate na lalaki.. pero i dont act like yung mga malambot na kilos.. boljak ako samin.. kaya from then on.. i lived a closeted life.. inside the closet lang palagi.. secret's mine to keep.. ganyan.. right up to highschool ganyan lang ako.. fantasy lang lagi sa mga poging classmates, higher years and stuff.. sa basic education ko,
i was active.. clubs, student governments, contests, mahhilig ako sumali.. i cant say na bibo ako its just that nageenjoy ako sa mga extracurricular activities sa school... Gino is my real nickname. hehe.. hindi kasi ako makaisip ng ibang pangalan... anyway madami namang gino jan...

I studied college sa manila kasi ayoko na sa laguna.. gusto ko ng escape... and meron din kaming bahay sa malate so wala ng hassel.. lahat din naman kami magkakapatid sa manila nag aral.. yep.. nagabot pa kaming tatlo na college lahat.. first taste of living away from parents.. walang curfew, no rules to break.. sakin na laat ng oras ko.. tita ko ang guardian namin.. and sobrang bait nya.. walang restrictions na tipong masasakal ka.. i guess kasi alam din naman ni tita na mga responsible kami kaya ganon.. nadala na din siguro ng values na kinalakihan naming magkakapatid..

Isa ako sa pioneer batch ng isang nursing school sa isang university sa manila. Im one of those students na nahulog sa trap ng nursing boom na until now is very obvious.. college was also very average for me.. siguro bored na kayo.. haha.. kasi laging average lang description ko sa sarili ko.. isa ako sa mga leaders ng batch namin.. nursing life taught me a lot.. sobra.. pero ibang kwento yan.. then came my graduation.. totoong buhay na.. dahil sa dami naming nurses.. napasaman na naman ako dun sa mga nurse na nagwwork sa call center.. i spent 4 years sa industry na yon.. tiniis ko kasi its better that nothing..

naging tambay ako for a year. hindi ko rin alam kung bakit tumagal ng isang taon ang pagiging tambay ko.. i guess kasi hindi rin naman ako pinepressure magwork sa bahay kaya ganon.. nung nagdecide ako magwork ulit... call center pa din.. nasanay na kasi ako sa 12-15k na income every payday kaya siguro bumalik ako.. laid back life ako sa work.. day in, day out, bahay, work, mall, konting travel ang naging routine ko.. minsan pag walang lakad during rest day.. i visit gay blogs. and madalas ako sa km.. video chat.. cam2cam para lang masatisfy ko ang lust requirements ko.. yeah... nakikipagjakulan ako on cam.. hardcore.. with all the dirty talk.. lahat lahat...and gusto ko with face pa.. i keep the privacy though.. kadalasan... one time lang ang jerk off session kasi i block them agad..

and then nakilala ko si jmat.. nakita ko lang din yung skype id nya sa km chatbox.. hindi gwapo si jmat pero madating sya sakin.. ewan.. nag hardcore jerk off session kami sa skype... ang sarap.. and then naulit pa yon... tapos naging regular na.. everytime online kami.. we do it.. for me, wala lang yon.. pero one time habang nagjajakol kami, nagflash sya ng sign na pwede bang manligaw? sa phone nya.. yung neon sketch thing.. tumawa lang ako.. i said uso pa ba ligawan? and then sabi nya.. so.. tayo na? umoo na lang ako.. nagkwentuhan na kami ng matagal after that.. dun na din kami nagexchange ng numbers... nagsimula kaming magtext at magtawagan everyday simula non... he was my first boyfriend.. fresh grad na ME si jmat.. he's a tiger... kaya may certain something ako sa mga taga espana.. lagi na sya nagyayaya na magmeet kami... nahihiya ako makipagmeet kasi naaawkward ako pagdating ng time na magkasama na kami.. e sa pinagggawa ba nman namin sa skype db? pero sya ok na ok lang sa kanya..

then we decided na magmeet kami sa isang uaap match. his school vs. mine.. our first date.. kinakabahan ako kasi baka pagnameet nya na ako ayawan nya na ako kasi iba na talaga pag in person na.. ang sweet nya kasi may gift sya sakin.. ako ni wala man lang.. hindi kasi ako materialistic.. binigyan nya ako ng university shirt nila..
chill lang kami the whole time. kahit na alam kong deep inside gusto na naming maglaplapan.. haha.. tinetext nya ako ng dirty suff kasi di rin naman namin mapaguusapan yon.. maririnig kami ng mga katabi namin..lol.. gusto ko sya itreat non kasi ako my work,, sya freshgrad.. pero ayaw nya.. after ng game nanood kami ng movie.. pero sa dami ng tao, chill pa din kami and sa phone lang kami nakakapaglambingan.. feeling ko non gusto nya na magcheck in kami pero nahihiya sya magfirst move.. so in the end, umuwi kaming tigang.. ang sad..

we still continue to text and meet from time to time.. ang sarap ng feeling pag may boyfriend...

then nagyaya sya.. wala daw tao sa condo nila kasi umuwi mga housemates nya.. solo nya flat nila..pagkakataon na namin.. nagrreview sya non for their board exam.. nagkita kami.. sinundo nya ako sa kfc sa may morayta.. kumakabog na mga dibdib namin.. i can feel.. hehehe.. nagkkwentuhan kami habang naglalakad papunta sa condo nila.. tapos register muna sa front desk.. meron pa ata kami nakasabay sa elevator na classmates nya.. bago kami pumasok sa unit nila.. chineck nya muna yung paligid kasi baka may bumalik daw sa mga housemates nya.. sabi ko.. wala na yan.. pasok na tayo.. pagpasok namin.. sya na gumawa ng first move.. sungab agad.. laplapan hubad ng damit.. sex kung sex.. hardcore foreplay.. ang ingay ng kama nya.. dinilaan nya buong katawan ko and ganon din ako sa kanya.. laway sa laway.. siya ang unang sumubo.. fuck ang sarap.. napapaliyad at mura ako sa galing nya magbj.. tigas na tigas nako.. nagexchange kami.. ako naman... di ko pinatawad yung pagkakataon.. basang basa ng laway ko yung junior nya.. tapos laplapan kami ulit.. heaven... weakness ko ang kissing at ang galing nya din humalik.. binulungan nya ko ng i love you and nagapalabas kami... nakakapagod.. sobrang sarap.. nagshower kami pareho.. and after magpahinga ng konti ay umuwi na din kami..

after that naging cold na sya.. he doesnt text or call anymore... sabi nya busy na daw sya kasi for the board exam.. ako naman ok lang kasi work occupies me din.. pero nassense ko na ayaw na nya ituloy kung ano man ang ginagawa namin.. so i let go.. ganon lang.. naisip ko wala rin naman siguro talaga patutunghan yung relationship namin kaya why hold on to it pa? inunfriend ko na sya sa fb.. gusto ko na sya kalimutan.. pero lagi ko pa rin sya iniisip.. fuck.. tinamaan na yata talaga ako...

one time.. tinext ko sya.. about stuff.. then sinabi nya na ayaw nya na talaga sa akin.. sa isip ko.. bakit ko pa ba sya ppilitin? sayang lang effort ko.. anyway.. yan yung story.. i guess not the type you were expecting pero i just really want to vent everything.. napamahal na talaga si jmat sakin and ang hirap nya kalimutan.. ganon lang talaga siguro.. people come and go.. its difficult pero we really have to deal with that fucking reality... thanks sobra sa time na binigay nyo to read this.. more power po sa blog! I now teach archers.. life goes on on no matter what happens.. if ill come out? siguro pero sa ngayon.. hindi ko pa rin talaga alam..

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